• Home
  • Breaking News
  • IN-Focus
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • The Nation
  • Local News
  • World News
  • Contact Us
  • Books
  • Podcast
  • Betoota Bitter
  • Betoota Outfitters
  • About Us
  • Our History
  • Advertise With Us
Search
The Betoota Advocate

Byron Homeowners Decide To Even Paint The Fucken Floor White

Facebook
Twitter
WhatsApp
Email

    ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

    A couple originally from Betoota Grove who decided to take their ill-gotten, inherited wealth to Byron Bay last year have even painted the fucking floor of their new house white.

    It’s not known whether Alfonso and Sarah Sapian just had a lot of leftover white paint but their decision to paint the floor of their modest 4-bedroom home arctic white has raised a few eyebrows in town.

    But, as we dumb fucking rurals do not understand, by painting their floor white, the Sapian’s have brought their house up to local council regulations that stipulate all floors, walls and ceilings in the Byron Bay Council must be painted fucking white.

    Section 7a of the council’s building code also calls for wicker furniture, some sort of palm leaf tapestry on the wall, a fireplace you can’t use and a pastel Smeg kettle.

    Alfonso Sapian, who simply lay on the couch doing fuck all waiting until his wealthy father died, said he wanted to go with a more retro look but reckons the council isn’t to be fucked with in the Bay.

    “They’d shoot you and dump you up the bush if they caught you with a carpeted bedroom up here,” he said.

    “God’s honest truth, that. But yeah, look. What you see is pretty much what happened. We started painting in one corner of the house. The floors, walls, ceiling, doors, carpet, benches and so on. Until we got to the end. We closed the house and let it dry for a few days, then we started moving all our shit back in,”

    “I paid nearly five million for this fucking place and I still can’t do what I want. Does that make me an idiot?”

    More to come.

    Facebook
    Twitter
    WhatsApp
    Email
      Errol Parker

      RELATED ARTICLES

      Queensland The Latest State To Let Nation Down After Letting In The British Super Spicy Cough

      IN-Focus 7 January 2021

      Palaszczuk Apologises; Reopens Border To Sydney After Remembering She’s Already Won The Election

      IN-Focus 25 December 2020

      Media Dork Spices Things Up By Adding ‘Wizard’ To His Job Title

      IN-Focus 17 December 2020

      Ute Doing 70 Kilometres On Highway Fairly Good Sign That Load Is Not Very Stable

      IN-Focus 28 November 2020

      Report: First Hungover Sip Of Mcdonalds Post Mix Packs A Real Punch

      IN-Focus 28 November 2020

      Local Girl Revisits Her Own Instagram Story To See How She’s Perceived By Everyone Else

      Breaking News 25 November 2020
      The Betoota Advocate
      ABOUT US
      Australia’s oldest newspaper. As a small and independent regional newspaper from far-west Queensland, we pride ourselves on reporting fair and just news with the authenticity that rivals only the salt on the sunburnt earth that surrounds us here in the Queensland Channel Country.
      FOLLOW US
      © 2020 The Betoota Advocate | Site by Twisted Pear Concepts | Privacy Policy
      Edit with Live CSS
      Save
      Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete.