ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local chippy says he’s excited that Singapore and Australia might enter a travel bubble soon, telling The Advocate that he can’t wait to go overseas and get his hair down again.
Cade Taylor explained that he used to go on an annual trip to the Indonesian holiday island of Bali but since this whole New World Order campaign to “removed human chaff” and “take control of humanity through a series of compulsory inoculations”, he hasn’t been able to.
“I can’t wait to get back overseas, nothing like an Asian getaway to recharge the batteries,” he said.
The 24-year-old is currently building Debra Overell’s, Clancy’s second wife, new home in Betoota Heights and our reporter stopped by to check it out for Clancy.
“Few cocktails on the beach, few liney lineys, you know the drill, boss. Nah, it’ll be fucken sick. Do you know when we can go? Oh right, they only just announced it. Any bruz. I just miss the Balinese people. Like how they’re so small that you can just take the piss out of them and they just cop it. Can’t do that in Thailand, hey? Those guys will kick you in the fucking mouth, man. Like lightning. Kapow!”
“Nah, should be good.”
However, when our reporter suggested that he’d be caned until he was line dancing with Jesus Christ in the back bar of some honky tonk in the sky, Cade looked confused.
He became even more concerned when it dawned on him that the punishment for getting caught with drugs is exceptionally severe in the island nation.
“They shoot you for bags? Fuck. That’s heavy, bro,” he sighed.
“And they what? They tie you to a fucking ergonomic chair or whatever it is and then just whip you with kendo sticks until you black out? What the fuck, man. Talk about fun police,”
“Mate, that’s pretty crook. So you mean they would’ve shot our Chappelle through the forehead for a little bit of choof? Well, like a fucken boogieboard bag full. Still a bit but fuck. Fuck mate, I’m still keen to go but fuck me dead cunt, you’d wanna be on your best behaviour,”
“Wonder if my income protection would cover a caning?”
More to come.