EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Local woman Lauren Gilbert was enjoying an afternoon shopping with girlfriends when she caught sight of her profile in one of the multi mirrored changerooms.
Bolstered by the flattering lighting and in an unusually masochistic mood, Lauren decided to take some pictures of the side of her face for closer inspection.
Unfortunately, her iPhone camera was not feeling particularly generous that day, and Lauren ended up getting a little bit more truth than she bargained for.
“I think deep down I knew it was a bad idea before I even did it,” admits Lauren, “I don’t know what I expected.”
“I’d only just gotten used to the front of my face. Honestly, it’s just bloody rude.”
Lauren says she’d immediately confessed the faux pas to her friends who were quick to assure her that she didn’t look like a swamp witch.
Unfortunately, the back pats and empathetic grimaces had done little to stop Lauren from spiralling.
“Is this what people see when I’m driving? Oh god, is this what my boyfriend sees when he’s lying next to me in bed!?”
Torn between booking an appointment with a plastic surgeon or busting out the contour brush, Lauren has resorted to repressing any memories she had of the image and never speaking of it again.
This event marks as one of the many traumas Lauren has experienced at the hands of her phone, having accidentally opened the front camera too many times to count.
“The only time I’ve looked good on the front camera was when I accidentally rubbed lip gloss on the shutter,” says Lauren, “so at least I now know I’m reasonably attractive if someone squints their eyes really hard.”
“I now make sure to have the phone directed away from me when I open the camera, just in case.”
“I don’t need that sort of negativity in my life.”