LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Throughout the most testing eras in human history, there have been legendary accounts of the daring actions individuals have taken to survive.

Or in the case of office gossip Miranda Jones (25), bringing a little cup of juicy goss back home with her.

Jones, like many office workers now doing their job home from, claims she has struggled to space at the two hours of work she actually does per day now that she has no one to talk to, leading her to stoop to new lows.

“Did you hear about Phi Phi and Devil?” stated Jones leaning against a watercooler she ordered specifically for her home office.

“I don’t want to say anymore, let’s just say God would weep if she had a litter right now!”

According to Jones’ daughter/coworker Charlotte (26), this is just one of a myriad of desperate pleas her housemate has made to recreate a normal life where she talks shit about her colleagues while failing to meet basic KPIs.

“First she tried making up rumours about the cast of Sunrise and then she just straight up told me the dog and cat are fucking,” stated young Jones.

“I bet those two things go hand in hand.”

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