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The Betoota Advocate

Anthropologists Unable To Identify What Aussie Proud Boys In American Sportswear Are Proud Of

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    CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT

    As was confirmed yesterday in Melbourne’s CBD, the Australian White Supremacy that has masked itself as working class patriotism for the last decade has once again taken the hood off.

    A man dressed in a top emblazoned with ‘Proud Boys’ was briefly detained by Victorian police on Tuesday, after he clashed with those attending the Indigenous Rights march through the state capital.

    The Proud Boys movement, which is believed originated as the brainchild of several relevance-deprived New York hipsters, has reaffirmed white power as something that is reserved for the elitist ‘western culture enthusiasts’ – rather than a bunch of blokes in hi-vis who are scared of ISIS.

    They are described as ‘a far-right, neo-fascist, and male-only white nationalist political organisation that engages in political violence in an effort to celebrate their pride in the achievements of white culture’.

    However, one of the great questions that anthropologists studying this movement have struggled with is ‘what are these blokes proud of exactly?’.

    Their alleged pride in culture has been immediately ruled out, due to the fact that the Australian Proud Boys are unable to list any examples of their own excellence, outside of pointing to the political achievements Donald Trump, and occasionally Adolf Hitler after a few drinks.

    The fact that majority of their entourage were wearing NBA merchandise during yesterdays march implies they are mostly interested in sports dominated by African American athletes.

    In fact, the entire movement is appears based around their hatred of other cultures, as opposed to their purported mission statement of celebrating the achievements of ‘their people’.

    Federal Treasurer Josh Frydenberg says the presence of the far-right ‘Proud Boys’ symbol at the march in Melbourne on Tuesday is “frightening to us all” – as the Government unveils plans for a new Holocaust museum in Canberra.

    Frydenberg, who is now the only member of the Federal Cabinet with the rocks to speak up against concerning social trends, also happens to be Jewish and is the son of a Holocaust survivor.

    He says the community must “redouble” its efforts to combat far-right extremism.

    His boss Prime Minister Morrison is yet to make a comment and condemn this concerning movement – and appears more focused on stopping two little Tamil girls incarcerated on Christmas Island from ever being Australian.

    Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton says the Proud Boys look like promising young men, and he hopes the Liberal Party can find some safe electorates for them to run in next election.

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      Clancy Overell

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