LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

11 am at the Betoota Railway Tavern beer garden on a Thursday you are likely to find local doesn’t-have-to-work guy Phil Crumb (43) in a balancing act of trying to act as hard as possible and trying to look like he doesn’t give a shit.

It is believed at approximately 11:45 am, after discussing his 43 days of strict anti-veganism, Crumb began ripping into public youth radio station ‘triple j’ referring to it as ‘The Js’ the entire time making it clear that he’s a bit old school.

“Pretty sure I’d make a better breakfast hosts [sic] than Ben,” slurred the donkey voter.

“What happened to The Js mate? What happened to The Js?”

It was later reported that when the live music act performed a cover of Riptide by Vance Joy that Crumb waved his hands while loudly claiming he’d never heard the song before.

“Fuck are these? Soft cocks.”

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