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Local woman, Ali Carey has decided she needs to try and be a better person and has committed to being more selfless – as long as it doesn’t put her out in any way or require too much effort.
This thought process allegedly came to Ali one drunken Saturday night, when her inner monologue decided to be more crushing than usual.
Tracing back every selfish deed she’d ever done, Ali’s solution to her sins was to perform some simple, thoughtful tasks that in her mind, would wipe away any former transgressions.
Though dropping 20c into the farmer’s tin at Woolies did little to overshadow that one day she bumped uglies with a married man, it was a start, at least.
“I took a long, harsh look at myself”, says Ali, “and decided things needed to change.”
“I’m also terrified of the concept of karma and live in constant fear that my poor actions will one day bite me in the ass.”
“But mainly I just want to make the world better.”
Her latest endeavour, donating three bags of clothing to a local op shop, has reportedly been put on hold for six months as she conveniently keeps forgetting to drive to Vinnies.
Despite feeling a small twinge of guilt every time she puts her groceries in the back of her car, Ali says she just hasn’t found the time to make the five-minute trip but she will, eventually.
Ali adds that her collection of stained tank tops and out of trend items, which includes a 1996 Supre bandeau and a pair of clownishly large harem pants, would be well received by those in need.