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The Betoota Advocate

Melbourne Yuppie Who First Voted Labor At 45 Will Take A Motherfucker’s Life For Dan Andrews

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    CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT

    An inner-north Melbourne architect has this week once again emphasised that she has no qualms with nailing her flag to her premier Dan Andrews.

    This marks quite a journey for Bronwyn Nallieu (49) – who voted Labor at a state level for the first time in the 2018 Victorian election.

    Since that moment, Bronwyn has leant into her decision to identify as a non-working-class non-union-affiliated Labor diehard, and spends up to five hours a day on Twitter abusing anyone who dares to criticise her humble Premier.

    After the seemingly successful five-day circuit breaker lockdown, Dan Andrews looks to be vindicated by his unpopular decisions – or at least he has in the eyes people like Bronwyn.

    According to the waterdrop Andrews die-hards, anyone who questions whether or not their Premier has any faith in his contact tracing systems, is an enemy of the state and a Trump supporter.

    As an outspoken middle class firebrand who grew up in a die-hard Liberal household before stumbling across veganism and the Greens at university, Bronwyn is growing closer to completing her full circle in the political spectrum. Although she may seem certain she will be a Dan Stan for the rest of her life, her family can tell that this is phase is just the gateway back to becoming a conservative small business Lib like her father.

    With an ABN and a home office, Bronwyn is finding herself getting crankier and crankier at the conclusion of each financial year.

    However, until she crosses that bridge back to a stubborn blue ribbon voter, she will continue to accuse anyone who demands accountability from the Andrews government of being a Murdoch shill.

    She’s even entertained fantasies of murdering anyone who says that three lockdowns in 12 months is a sign of poor governance.

    “These people just aren’t HELPFUL” she says, in a moment of Twitter rage.

    “None of this is Dan’s fault!”

    “I mean, it’s pretty obvious…”

    “Gladys only allowed the Ruby Princess to disembark because she knew so many of the passengers were from Victoria”

    “The Liberals caused Melbourne’s second wave’

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      Clancy Overell

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