In further developments to the controversy surrounding Christian Porter’s alleged rape scandal, the Prime Minister has since opted to no longer offer any defence of the Attorney-General — who remains on leave until March 31.

The Press Gallery is today reporting that Porter is set to be stripped of his Attorney-General portfolio as the Prime Minister seeks to cauterise the deepening crisis engulfing his government. 

The reshuffle could be announced as early as Friday, and it is expected that Peter Dutton will become Defence Minister and Michaelia Cash, a senator who refused to cooperate with an AFP investigation, will be moved to Attorney-General and be put in charge of the rule of law.

The bumbling Hillsong extremist that is Stuart Robert is expected to be relocated to Dutton’s role as Home Affairs Minister, in what can only be described as the most lacklustre Federal Cabinet since Federation.

However, it seems Paid Leave Porter refuses to go down swinging today, and has revealed that he will be taking his Dismissal as the Attorney-General to the Fair Work Commission.

As an elite member of Australia’s born-to-rule political class, this will be the first time that Christian Porter has ever had to engage with the independent workplace relations tribunal.

That is, outside of his career spent trying to abolish the Commission’s and strip them of any powers in regulating employers.

In the peak of last year’s first lockdown, Christian Porter – then a promising Liberal Party stand-out – worked tirelessly in his role as Attorny-General to introduce the Industrial Relations Omnibus Bill.

The bill was created to clear a path for employers to cut pay due to the impact of Covid-19 on their business, wipe out backpay claims for misclassified casuals, and proposed new flexibility for part-time workers to pick up shifts without overtime rates.

After strong pushback from the Unions and the Fair Work Commission itself, Porter eventually dumped his support of the bill, as the government decided to focus on more pressing things like that vaccine that still hasn’t arrived – as well as silencing journalists trying to cover rape allegations against him.

However, today, in the face of what he believes to be an unfair cabinet reshuffle, Paid Work Porter is going straight to the only people that can help him. The underpaid public servants from Fair Work that he has spent a career vilifying.

“This isn’t fair” said Paid Leave Porter.

“I’m being treated like a common man”

“I’m taking this straight to the top of the toothless tiger that is the Fair Work Commission!!”

Unfortunately, as his constituents grow tired of the noise surrounding their embattled MP, there does not appear to be a specific tribunal that will be able to defend Paid Leave Porter when he is voted out as the Member For Pearce in the upcoming Federal Election.



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