IN-Focus

Share House Embarks On Day 63 Without Bare Essentials After OG Roomie Finally Moves Out

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactYou never really know what you’ve got until it’s gone, and for residents located at 21 Bourke St Betoota Heights, they’ve learnt this the hard way.  The OG roomie and dad of the household has now done what some dads tend to do. He’s left. Will Becker is said to have been a resident in the sharehouse since it was...

Report: Walking A Poodle Hybrid The Millennial Bloke’s Equivalent Of Flashing A Wedding Ring

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA recent report conducted by Relationships Australia has revealed some interesting findings, including how women can identify single blokes on sight. According to a head researcher Lauren McKinley, women no longer have to rely on just wedding rings or social media to deduce a bloke’s relationship status - they simply need to see what type of dog he has.  “If...

Corporate Drone Rebels Against Dress Code With Silly Socks That Really Show Off His Zany Personality!

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke who works for one of the ‘Big 4’ has this week showed that he’s not like other corporate drones, if the novelty socks peeking out from below his suit pants is anything to go by. Drew Sully is said to have secured a plum role at Deloitte roughly five years ago, and quickly fell into the...

Salesman Actually More Sober At Work Party

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTEmployees at Betoota Used Car and Write Offs Showroom are unsure what to believe anymore after noticing strange behaviour from salesman Pat Patrickson (35).During the annual HR organised late-EOFY/Christmas in July/early Melbourne Cup office party, colleagues of Patrickson noted that the salesman had consumed at least two drinks and was acting like a considerate person and a model...

Nanna Observes 30 Minutes Of Silence Each Evening In Post-Neighbours World

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The cost-of-living crisis is hitting us all hard, but fans of Neighbours have been hit hardest of all, financially and emotionally. Running from 1985 until just the other day, Neighbours was a long-running soapie that by the time of cancelation was old enough to vote Liberal. The end of the soapie with a 5.4/10 rating on IMDb has left a...

Scientists Confirm That Dreadlocks Start Forming Instantly After Your First Bump Of Ketamine

BEAU RIVERS | Local News | ContactAustralian scientists at the CSIRO today released a groundbreaking study, believed to be the definitive link between dreadlocked human hair and the recreational use of horse tranquiliser. The study all but confirms that dreadlocks begin to form just several nano-seconds after a person takes their first bump of Ketamine. Over a three year period the scientists tracked 300...

Former Stereo Bro Now Finds Himself Researching Best High Carbon Stainless Steel Kitchen Knives

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA former Stereo bro and self confessed Muzz God has found himself pausing for reflection after spending a solid forty five minutes researching stainless steel knives on a Friday afternoon, of all days. Nick Stathakis was flicking between two webpages he’d bookmarked when he became suddenly aware of how adult he was being, which made him feel both...

Clive’s Chef Whips Up His Favourite “Cluck And Suck” Dinner After Court Disappointment

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Queensland billionaire Clive Palmer has a good team around him, he says, after he returned home from Sydney this week to find his favourite dinner waiting for him on the dining table. Mr Palmer and WA Premier Mark McGowan tried to sue each other in court this year, each alleging the other defamed them. Ultimately,...

Absolute Moron Tells New Parent He’s Been Pretty Tired Lately As Well

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA Betoota man might have cemented himself as one of the all time knuckleheads by telling the parents of a newborn he’s been pretty tired as well lately.Popping over to visit his friends who recently became parents, absolute moron Keiran Booran (31) showed up with a Bakers Delight pull apart, supermarket chocolate cake, and a hilarious joke in...

Report: Bee At Least Wasted It’s Life Stinging Someone Who’s Allergic

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn a world that may soon have to adapt to the loss of the pollinating power of bees, it has been confirmed that we lost at least one more today in a stinging related incident.Known for producing honey and being of vital importance to most life on earth, bees are also infamous for their painful sting which once...

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