IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Reserve Bank Governor has laughed off claims that the organisation has caused a giant housing bubble by telling reporters they should really be spending more time buying houses. "You should really buy a house," said Phillip Lowe, a polite robot that is programmed to do what banks, business and government tell him to do. "If...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A report commissioned by the nation's peak cricketing body, Cricket Australia, has found that headstrong Test opener David Warner knew that South African player Quinton de Kok was a massive fuckwit long before the events of this week took place. Earlier this week, De Kok refused to take a knee for the Black Lives Matter...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Australian intelligence community has today reassured concerned residents that the suspected test of a hypersonic weapon system by the Chinese Government earlier this week was actually just a Betoota Heights father of three who put his back into a few delivers at the park yesterday. Authorities were quick to condemn 47-year-old Michael Davies,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister was publicly chewed out by his deputy Barnaby Joyce this morning in Canberra for being late with the Nationals leader's coffee. As per the net zero agreement between the Liberals and Nats, Scott Morrison must bring Barnaby a mocca with four tablespoons of raw sugar dumped in but not stirred. "You buffoon!" yelled...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local employee of the Australian Tax Office has spoken candidly to The Advocate today about how one aspect of his job has him idling at the end of a dead-end street. For nearly 40 years, Deverell Slacks enjoyed playing ultimate frisbee with friends down in the French Quarter's famous Jardins De L'amour on Rue...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A hidden detail in the Coalition's agreement to reach net-zero by 2050 has become apparent this morning as Scott Morrison turned up for his first day of acting as Nationals leader Barnaby Joyce's human coffee table. As per the agreement between the Liberal Party and the Nationals, the Prime Minister must get down on...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter agency professional has spoken of her previous life working the many sports bars and grand old pubs of the Old City District, telling The Advocate this afternoon that she really misses those days and wishes she could go back to that simpler time. "Yeah sure, I was really underpaid and they never...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A lost boy of London has lost his last excuse to stay there this month as the rabid south of the country begins to welcome Australians home from overseas without having to suffer in the indignity of hotel quarantine. For the past two years, former French Quarter resident Martin Pooley's social and professional life has...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has all but put his feet up until Glasgow now after, in his own words, he's headed the cats home and got our plan for Net Zero by 2050 over the line. Speaking to the media this afternoon from the "bloody Kingo" down the road from Parliament House, Scott Morrison said now...

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact In brain dead local news, a Betoota Heights woman has asked friends to keep the hot chips away from her after she pretty much pumped the whole bowl during an afternoon session down at the Lake Betoota Surf Club. Speaking from the heart, Ween Norman said she just cannot help herself when french fries...