IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A young Old Boy from one of our town's most exclusive and leafy schools has quoted Joseph Stalin this afternoon inside the main bar of a famous French Quarter watering hole. With his hair pushed up in a scaffold of mousse and pathetic vanity, Spencer Brown explained that the politicians need to start listening to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Victorian Premier has seen what taking an elimination policy has done for other state leaders around the country and he says that he's not prepared to be the only one left without a seat when the music stops. Speaking to reporters today in Melbourne, Daniel Andrews explained that the elimination policy is very popular...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A bead-wearing public servant who once upon a time either took the light rail or a BMW to work has suggested that people of her age and sense of entitlement could do the back-breaking work of a fruit picker. Out-of-work city dwellers and grey nomads are to be 'drafted' into a 'land army' of people...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Fed up with his base-level of anxiety that's largely consumed his life for the past 18 months, a locked-down Sydney man has taken the novel approach of throwing his television from his 11th story balcony before the NSW Government 11am press conference. Glenn Clark was born and raised in our cosmopolitan desert republic but thanks...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local dad Phil Riley has confirmed that he still holds a torch for Stevie Nicks. Feelings that have somehow never dwelled after thirty so years of obsession. It’s alleged the father of three had a few of his kids around one Friday night when he’d attempted to bond with them the only way he knew how – drinking...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister started his afternoon press conference by telling reporters that he was tired and didn't want to talk about Afghanistan anymore - until next week - he said. "Enough about Afghanistan. Does anyone have any questions about, oh I don't know, the cricket?" said Mr Morrison. Reading from his notes, Scott Morrison cleared his...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Scott Morrison has told another Canberra motorist that he wished things could be different after he reversed the prime ministerial BMW 7-series into another car at the Yarralumla shops this morning. "Sorry, mate," said the PM. "We with things could be different, hey? Shit. Oh well, it looks like there's more damage to my car than...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Perth-based journalist is facing execution by anti-aircraft gun after suggesting to Mark McGowan, the de facto leader of the Democratic People's Republic Of Western Australia (DPRWA), that it was only a matter of time until the so-called Delta variety of the spicy cough made it to the rouge state. The state-owned media service, WA...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The people of the nation's inverted portaloo are waking up this morning to their first day in lockdown after seven weeks of practicing. The rogue state's defacto leader Gladys Berejiklian urged the people of Sydney to "keep the faith" because now they're "playing for keeps" in their war against the curse set upon us by...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT All hell has broken loose in a mother's Facebook group this week, despite it originally being a support network for young mums. The ‘Mums of Betoota Grove’ group is said to have been kickstarted by local mum Susan Craft, who’d wanted to create a community where women could offer advice and share in the woes of early motherhood.  But Susan...