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KEITH T. DENNETT | Southern News | CONTACT In a ceremonial passing of the torch, departing Nationals leader John Barilaro has handed newly elected Paul Toole his favourite tub of Shockwaves Extreme Hold Hair Gel. The public gesture was widely praised within the NSW National party room today, as news broke they had once again chosen a six-foot male who enjoys a haircut that would...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT There's some exciting news for fans of accountability and transparency today. The Federal Government has confirmed that it will commit to a Commonwealth Corruption Commission. Titled the Commonwealth Integrity Commission, the body will be headed up by an 11-year-old pug named Kobie. This comes after calls were renewed for someone to investigate corruption at a federal level after...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT It was panic stations at a local Betoota Heights residence this morning after the global social media outage hit our humble corner of Queensland. With many left shocked and confused by various social media platforms disappearing from their Tuesday morning scroll, it created a crisis for a local concreter named Toby White. "Obviously Facebook not refreshing was a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victoria has recorded 1,763 new locally acquired cases, as the frustrated state breaks a new Australian record. It is the highest daily number for local cases recorded in any state or territory, shattering NSW's peak of 1,599 that was recorded at the height of the South-West Sydney outbreak. Victoria's previous state record was 1,488 which was recorded from Friday's tests. Today's...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NSW Police are today picking up the pieces down in Western Sydney after they made over 2.5 million arrests last night in the wake of Penrith’s historic grand final win. Speaking to the media this morning in Mount Druitt, the state’s police commissioner Mick Fuller said that arresting the entire population of Western Sydney for ”repeated and brazen”...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT It was a bittersweet win for Panthers fans as they celebrated a premiership win from the comfort of their own homes that definitely don’t have guests that shouldn’t be there under current guidelines right now.  Luckily, Penrith residents have found a legal loophole and plan on kicking this party on until they are officially Covid safe again. Under current NSW...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Visible achievement was on show today for French Quarter resident Sally Frizel (23) as she showed off her new disposable income by not giving herself alcohol poisoning during pre-drinks. After defying the odds and actually using her fresh degree to get a job with a decent salary, Frizel showed up for pre-drinks with her mates and drank with a...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As the NRL Grand Final draws near, health experts are expecting a huge surge in the number of cases in the areas of Penrith and Redfern over the next 24 hours. And also potentially South East Queensland where they are about to pack tens of thousands into a single venue. Health experts claim that before kickoff they are expecting...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A young Sydney based woman who has just about had enough of this shit, has decided to treat herself.  Feeling a little under the weather after a bit of a session in the park with 4 of her closest girlfriends yesterday, Georgia Gralton decided to distract her very hungover brain.  With a brekky acai bowl and a long black only...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Everything is coming full circle for South Sydney tragic Corey Woodhead as he regaled anyone who’d listen with tales of The March like he was a woman fighting for the right to vote. On November 12, 2000, an estimated 80,000 supporters of the South Sydney Rabbitohs marched on Town Hall to protest the club's exclusion from the NRL competition. Although...