Local Woman Reaches That Age Where She Is Content With Not Adding New Music To Her Playlists
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
At 32, Melinda Lin has just about tapped up of popular culture.
Her current detachment from 'what's popping' has been a gradual process.
It all started with her inability to fully appreciate the sheer joy that young people were getting out of SnapChat. Shortly after that she was met with the confronting images of New York rapper Tekashi69...
Gladys Says NSW Residents Can Choose Either 5 In A Park Or Whatever Is In the Mystery Box
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
After yesterday's teasing there would be ‘a treat’ for jabbed up NSW residents, premier Gladys Berijiklian revealed five people will be allowed to congregate in an outdoor setting.
Although the state of New South Florida just recorded over 1000 new local cases, the premier has decided it’s best for her citizens to do a bit of socialising with...
Gladys Raises The Bat As NSW Cracks 4 Digits With A Record-Breaking 1029 New Cases Overnight
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has raised the bat at today's 11am press conference, after finally cracking the 4 digits.
New South Wales has recorded 1029 new local cases up to 8pm last night. It is the first time daily cases numbers have exceeded the 1000 mark.
"C'mon!!!" cried Hot Mess Gladys, as she went on to announce the non-terrifying...
Late 20s Woman Finally Gives Up Dreams Of Having A 100-Year-Old Vampire Fall In Love With Her
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
Today marks a very sad day for local woman Kate Langdon.
The day she finally acknowledged that no, she will never experience two vampire brothers fighting over her, nor is she the doppelganger of a vampire’s long lost love.
As a rational woman, she’d known her dreams of being passionately loved by a dangerous, supernatural creature were, at best,...
Brisbane Man Pops Out Of His Cave To Hunt For Some Yum Cha In A Busy Shopping Precinct
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local man in the Southern Corner of Queensland has today set off to track down some prey.
Speaking to us from the Stone Age city of Brisbane, Everton Park explained that he was heading off to hunt some yum cha.
"Me hungry," said the Brisbane cave resident.
"Me no feel like Sushi or Guzman today. I hunt...
Flashback: Remember When Scotty Visited His Ancestral Home While We Were Stuck Here With No Jabs
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
FROM THE ARCHIVES: Today, The Betoota Advocate remembers a more simpler time in the 24-hour news cycle.
Back in early-June, 2021 (roughly 12 weeks ago) when Scotty From Marketing fled overseas to socialise with Boris Johnson and Joe Biden at global leaders summit that he wasn't even invited to.
While tens Australians of Australians were stuck overseas, where they...
Wests Tigers In Danger Of Missing Out On 9th Spot For Second Year Running
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
With a couple of weeks left of the 2021 NRL season, the writing is now crystal clear on the wall for the Wests Tigers.
Win and a few results must go their way if they want to finish one spot outside the 8 again.
"We know what we have to do, and we are going to do everything...
PM Who Said Getting Jabbed Wasn’t A Race Tells Nation We Can’t Stay In The Cave Forever
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Prime Minister has offered up some leadership today, in the form of vague politically motivated claims that contradict the advice of the Premiers.
Speaking to the reporters in Canberra, the nation's Head of Marketing explained that we 'need to move forward' and 'we cannot stay in the cave forever.'
His comments come a few months after he...
Locked Down Man Just Forgets To Wake Up For A Day Or Two
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Sydney man Deangelo Moran (34) has finally given in to lockdown temptation and has straight up forgotten to wake up for the past two days.
After eight weeks of lockdown with at least five more on the way, Moran states he has previously been doing OK through the lockdown considering he has his health and that a militant extremist...
Cultured Brisbane Man Eats Entire Edamame Pod Because That’s How You Do It Apparently
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
A Brisbane bloke has tonight made it evident that he doesn’t get out much after making a pretty significant food faux pas at a local Japanese fusion restaurant.
It’s alleged Jason Lewis was invited to the Mount Foodji restaurant by a couple of new workmates, who he’d instantly bonded within two weeks of starting his first engineering role.
To...
