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Channel 9 Reveal Plans For Domenica And Olivia From MAFS To Headline Barry Hall v SBW Undercard

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the build-up to the fight between Sonny Bill Williams and Barry Hall continues, the network hosting the event has revealed a spicy new storyline. While sports fans will be tuning in to see whether a former Dog of War and World Cup Winning All Black can knock out Big Bad Barry, it seems like reality TV fans...

Inner City Corporate Boxing Organiser Takes Trainees To Regional Pub For Final Test Before Fight Night

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After nearly 9 weeks of punishing training, a Brisbane-based boxing coach has decided to try and gauge just how far his trainees have come. Corporate Boxing coach Billy Magoulias says he's decided to take his fighters out to a regional drinking venue to see much they've picked up from the intensive program he's just put them through. Normally...

Swaggering White-Collar Novocastrian Asks Every Sydney Office Colleague “How’s Ya Weekend Bra?!”

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Newcastle-born Sydney-sider is insufferably chipper today, thoroughly enjoying his Monday return to work. Strutting into the office of his engineering consultancy in Martin Place, young project manager Dane Randall (25), appears to have lost all sense of professionalism, instead choosing to spend the day speaking as if he’s an apprentice boilermaker. A former 2nd grader for the...

Local ‘Swing Voter’ Just A Liberal Voter Who Is Understandably Ashamed

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact After a two year investigation, it can be exclusively revealed that many Australians who claim to be a ‘swing voter’ are just Liberal Party voters who are understandably too ashamed to say so publicly. Despite Australia having a two party system in all but name, many Australians take pride in the fact that they are the salt-of-the-earth, politically...

Rural Dad Fulfils His Duty To Society By Fixing Rickety Cafe Table

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact The old fella is getting the job done today in Betoota as father of eight Kenneth Vaughn (68) did his lunch companions a courtesy and fixed their rickety cafe table. Although he's a lover of nothin’ too flash, Vaughn is physically unable to sit at a cafe table that is even the least bit rickety often causing him...

Scotty Apologises For Your Pretty Little Standards Being So Effin’ High

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Full time political cosplayer Scotty from Marketing has apologised today. Not for the slow response to the flood that was a bit his fault, but for people and their massive freaking standards Speaking earlier this week, Scotty explained that he is sorry that the standards of a governing body that cyphons a third of your income are so...

MAFS Producers Still Yet To Come Up With A Plot Line That Isn’t Cheating Or Drunken Arguments

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the entertainment world, producers from the hit reality TV show Married At First Sight have revealed that they are sticking to the status quo. With the world a swirling sewer of upheaval and cataclysmic change, the people behind the ratings juggernaut have confirmed that they are trying to keep things on an even...

Byron Local Of 14 Months Furious About Portrayal Of Her Hometown In New Netflix Series

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Despite the fact there is a fair bit of other shit going on in the world, a Byron Bay ‘local’ has today decided to hit out at the new Netflix show for their portrayal of ‘her town.’  Speaking to The Advocate from her comfortable, outrageously priced 4 bedder a few hundred metres from the beach, Bronte Vaucluse said she’s...

New Lakers Series Drops Just In Time To Distract LA Fans From The NBA Playoffs

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT here’s some good news for fans of one of the world’s most famous sporting franchises today.  Finally, after a tough couple of years for LA Lakers supporters and bandwagoners, there is something to lift their spirits.  It’s not some smart trades or notable players being moved on, but a new drama series in the form of Winning Time: The Rise...

Unpatriotic ANZAC-Hating Lismore Traitor Asks Why Government Took 7 Days To Send In Defence Force

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that will rile up patriotic Aussies who love this country, a Lismore resident has talked shit about our troops today! After another day of piling precious belongings out on the street for no one to collect, small business owner and lifetime Liberal voter James Simpson has unpatriotically chosen treason. The Northern Rivers local who thought he...

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