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Christensen Deported Back To Manila As Government Continues Crusade Against Anti-Vax Posterboys

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT It's been a rough afternoon for outgoing parliamentarian George Christensen, after the outspoken Nationals Senator was ordered to pack up his things and head to the airport. The prominent anti-vaxxer has reportedly been escorted out of the country by Home Affairs, as the government continues its war on public health threats. At the time of press, Christensen is...

With Two Days To Kill In Hobart, Australian Cricket Side Takes A Tour Of MONA’s Wall Of Vaginas

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT The Australian cricket team has found themselves with the time on their hands after racing through the Hobart test match inside three days. That came after another couple of classic English batting collapses, where the tourists failed to score more than 200 runs in either innings, cutting two days off the length of the game. Unfortunately for fans hoping to...

Splendour Given $500m Government Grant After Rebranding To “God’s Splendour In The Holy Fields”

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Australia’s Premier Music, Arts and Youth Culture festival ‘Splendour In The Grass’ has received a large financial boost this week, following a strategic rebrand which saw the festival finally align with the values of both State and Federal Governments. In a public announcement broadcast simultaneously by Triple J, Double J and Jay Jays stores, the iconic Australian...

Expectant Couple Put Aside Some RATs For Child’s Future

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT One lucky fetus is off to a good start as their mum and dad wisely put aside some RATs for their little one's future. Rapid Antigen Tests also known as RATs (or RAT Tests for people who don’t care for acronyms) provide users with an opportunity to test themselves for the spicy cough while getting a brief little glimpse...

NSW Police Also Can’t Really Provide Answers As To Why There Weren’t Any Sniffer Dogs At Hillsong Youth Festival

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT With people nationwide condemning the government’s decision to forego fining Hillsong Church for very clearly defying public health rules, further insult has been added to injury by the lack of police presence and sniffer dogs, which have been a common addition to the festival scene for years. The Hillsong Church only recently landed in hot water when videos of...

NSW Premier Fronts The Media For Another Big Day Of Leading The Nation Out Of This Thing

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The leader of the nation's most populous state has today rolled up the sleeves to remind everyone how good a job he and his government are doing. This comes a few months after boldly proclaiming that he and NSW would lead the nation out of woods and into a post-spicy cough world, as his first order of business...

Local Woman Horrified To Discover New Boyfriend Comes From A ‘Matching Outfits’ Family

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local woman has today discovered that when it comes to dating, there’s always something. From the sweet, doting tradie who had a son he forgot to mention, to the charming, handsome med student with concerning opinions about women’s rights, Tess Colley has seen it all. In fact, she’s seen a little too much. So when she met her current...

Cruel System Designed To Make Life Hell For Desperate Refugees Accidentally Affects Rich White Man

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The 7.73 billion non-Australian members of the human race are scratching their noggins this week as they struggle to wrap their heads around the fact that Australia is not letting someone into the country. It's been confirmed that the rest of the world isn't really impressed by this whole 'tough on borders thing.' As tennis fans tune in to see...

$300 Gram Of Class A Narcotics Trafficked Across Three Continents Somehow Easier To Procure Than Australian Made RAT Test

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT With thousands of Aussies struggling to find RAT tests and recent news of New South Wales fining those who don’t submit results, many are left wondering if it’s even worth notifying the government, given the amount of hoops they need to jump through just to get an answer. Despite RAT tests made here in Australia, including a facility that...

Grandkids Left Stunned After Danish Biscuit Tin At Nan’s Found To Contain Danish Biscuits

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A shocking incident has been reported at a Betoota Heights residence this morning. In the heart of a quiet cul-de-sac in some made-up housing estate built 20 years ago, police are considering pressing charges of fraud, after a child discovered a Danish biscuit tin, with Danish biscuits in it. The breathtaking discovery was made by 9-year-old Maizee Robbins...

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