Headlines

PM’s Media Team Physically Restrain Him From Posting Tone Deaf Photo Of Last Night’s Curry

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Pressure is mounting on Scotty From Marketing to reverse his poorly-received India travel ban as the United Nations joins a growing list of organisations that have condemned the laws as a blatant violation of human rights. On Wednesday the UN Human Rights Commission raised "serious concerns" about the Morrison government's move to ban its own citizens from returning from...

Nan Says Handsmaid’s Tale Actually Looks Like Fun After Growing Up Catholic In Rural Australia

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Season 4 of the US TV hit The Handmaid's Tale returns to screens in Australia, millions of viewers are tuning into SBS to get their fix of the terrifying plot lines that weave across the misogynistic dystopia. The program is most popular with female audiences - as it tells the harrowing story of the main character is June,...

Newtown Girl Living In Terrace House Owned By Parents Criticises Selfish Right-Wing Boomers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A direct beneficiary of the post-war generation's hysterical wealth-hoarding has today taken to social media to blame that same 'selfish' demographic for everything that is wrong in the world. Bessie Marque (27) is of the belief that the direct cause of our government's rapid shift to fundamental Christian reaganism is white middle class Australians born between 1946 and 1964...

PM Breaks News To Jenny That Unfortunately The Overgrown Lawn At Kirribilli Is A State Issue

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the face of recharged debate surrounding the Federal Government's obligation to provide quarantine facilities that aren't re-badged luxury hotels in the middle of the CBD, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has once been quick to outline exactly what his job isn't. Despite the fact that the Australian constitution specifically outlines that issues surrounding quarantine are the direct responsibility...

PM Gives Andrew Laming A Fidget Spinner To Prevent Further Sexual Harassment Allegations

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The ADHD-riddled Member For Bowman is no longer a threat to innocent young women in public, as the Prime Minister doubles efforts to help him find a way to stop acting like a fuckwit. The embattled weirdo MP stands accused of taking photographs of a young woman's exposed underpants without permission - in her place of work. Upon being...

“Well If You Don’t Do Anything Wrong You Won’t Die In Jail” Says Local Section 10 Magnet

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Betoota Grove man that has been white and rich enough to get away with three seperate section 10 conditional discharges, says when it comes to "the issue of" deaths in custody - surely the onus isn't entirely on the justice system. Julian Ainswacker-Hopscotch (37, hedge fund manager) has been caught with cocaine on his person three times, and...

Albo Misses His Number Being Called At Haberfield’s IGA Deli And Now Everything A Fucking Joke

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Shoppers in Sydney's Iron Cove have reported feeling awkward this afternoon, after a prominent local Italian gentleman skirted very close to 'really losing his temper' at the Harberfield IGA. Leader of the Opposition and Member for Grayndler, Anthony Albanese was the subject of a spectacular Mediterranean meltdown at the supermarket's deli counter, after finding himself too busy gossiping with...

Laming Reveals Shock ADHD Diagnosis, Claims He Only Films Up Women’s Skirts After Red Cordial

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Liberal MP Andrew Laming has today revealed that he suffers a medical condition that explains all of his bizarre and illegal behaviour - in an effort to convince his own party to pre-select him for another election, in the hope to spend four more years bludging on the tax-payer The embattled Queensland MP revealed that he has been gifted...

Pivotal Redneck Conspiracist Vote Up For Grabs After Craig Kelly Gets Banned From Facebook

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's volatile anti-medicine/borderline Nazi voters are at a loss today, after their loudest supporter from Canberra was banned from Facebook. Former Liberal MP Craig Kelly has been booted by the social media giant, for repeatedly breaching its misinformation policies. This follows a messy few months for the Member For Hughes - who holds the electorate that borders Morrison - after...

Young Dad Who Hasn’t Left The House In 5 Years Nails Entire ‘Frozen’ Soundtrack At Karaoke

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local early-40s bloke with daughters has revealed himself to be an early-40s bloke with daughters last night, during a work event at a prominent Betoota karaoke bar. Damien Kruger (43, accountant) has spent the last five years of his life tuning out from popular culture, and in that time he has not ingested any music or film that...

Social

779,646FansLike
603,780FollowersFollow
75,647FollowersFollow

Breaking News