Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local bachelor, George De Souza (27) says he doesn't use Tinder much, but when he does, he gets a few bites here and there. Aside from his well written 60 word bio about how painfully uninteresting his life is between his job at Betoota's TAB head office and his sharehouse living arrangement in a relatively mundane South Betoota...

LOUIS BOURKE | Editor | Contact Local unit Jared O’Toole (32) tucked into a well-earned pub lunch only to express a disdain for the coleslaw that was saturated in mayonnaise that accompanied his 800g schnitzel. Taking in a few jars at the Betoota Tavern, O’Toole opted for the schnitzel instead of the chicken burger as to save on carbs. To his detriment, O’Toole discovered that...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Members of the Wentworth Electorate have slammed their sitting member today. The high net-worth and socio-economically well to do electorate has accused their representative, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull of turning his back on them. The criticism comes after leaked photos emerged of the PM parading around in a high visibility vest. Turnbull has yet to fully address the issue, but issued...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A krav maga, kickboxing and UFC enthusiast named Klay Wilson (28) sat down with The Advocate to explain why you'd have to be pretty fucked in the head go even look at him. The topless park goer, with a couple of piss weak tattoos on his back, said that he enjoys coming down to the Euston Park in the...

Partaking in an impromptu Sunday session with half a dozen equally cut mates, Betoota Dolphin’s front rower Caden McLocklyon (22) has confirmed that the next beer is going to firmly plant the idea of a Three Piece Feed in his mind. The Sunday session reportedly began with the intention of commiserating the fact that all seven attendees failed to pick...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A local mother-to-be has today found herself unable to avoid reminding everyone about just how perfect her wedding was in July, 2015. While two weeks into maternity leaves, Kim Sironsen (32) has today found her self so bored that she's doing things she swore she never would. One particular cliché is posting flashback photos of 'the day she married her...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Even though it is nowhere near beer o'clock, a bunch of lads on tour have decided it might be time to treat themselves to a brewski or two at the airport bar, haha. While excitedly chattering amongst themselves as they stride through the terminal, the lads appear to be absolutely ready-to-go, ahead of their out-of-state boys trip. Even after a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact After a heavy backlash from viewers, several high profile executives and personalities from Sky News Australia have resigned from the network after an interview with far-right nationalist Blair Cottrell was aired overnight. The former United Patriots Front leader was invited onto the Adam Giles Show for a studio interview and spoke with the former Northern Territory chief minister about...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A local sometimes cocaine, mostly ice, dealer has made it pretty clear that he strongly admires the main protagonist of the 1983 American gangster movie, Scarface. Arty 'Party' Princeton (24) has only been 'bout that life for a couple years now, but even people who don't buy drugs from him are aware of his drug dealer status. Mainly due to the fact that he...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A first date at a French Quarter restaurant has gone into overdrive as accountant Lindal Snape (30) steps it up a notch and begins discussing Uber ratings with promising Tinder match Reese Mckinley (31). According to Snape she usually waits until after the meal to bring up ‘real topics’ such as Uber ratings, workplace bullying and shared experiences reading the Barefoot Investor. However, Snape decided...