Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Aspiring musician and wannabe bad boy Cameron Kelly (21) recently came to the shocking realisation that as an ancient 21-year-old he has officially missed his opportunity to be a SoundCloud rapper. Hoping to turn his love for prescription substances and songs with less than 20 lyrics into a profit, Kelly began to upload his music to SoundCloud before realising...

LEROY PERCIVAL | Gangs| Contact Immigration Minister Peter Dutton this week taken aim at Australian Boomer Thon Maker's on-court behaviour as an example of the growing African gang violence, all-the-while keeping alive his dream of a renewed White Australia policy.   Sharing an image of what could be perceived as an extremely poorly executed fly kick by Thon Maker, a Australian player with African...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A recent report by the Australian bureau of statistics has found the 95% of Australian children under the age of 6 are named 'Ava' - regardless of gender. Statisticians say the prevalence of Ava is almost at the same level of Bella in the early 90s, or Bens in the late 80s. According to the 2016 cenus, 95% of every...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Luke McDonald should probably update his LinkedIn today. The 28-year-old creative from the French Quarter lists his current occupation as a ‘Freelance Filmmaker and Editor’ but his friends have told The Advocate that it should be updated to ‘Bullshit Artist.’ The calls for the change come after McDonald tried to tell the group he was with last night that he...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Kendrick Lamar has continued to blow fans away right across the country with his unforgettable set of his chart-topping anthems in the 2018 DAMN. tour. After a highly anticipated appearance at Byron Bay's Splendour In The Grass, the Californian rap musician commonly known as 'Pulitzer Kenny' has performed to back-to- back sell out shows at Sydney's Qudos Bank Arena,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Editor | Contact Australia’s hybrid public broadcaster has sensationally announced a merger set to rock the media landscape in the country. The Special Broadcasting Service (SBS) has announced this morning that it will be merging with online video sharing website Pornhub. The merger comes after Channel Nine and Fairfax announced that they too would be merging. The move will see SBS and the Canadian...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Australian blue comedy icon, Rodney Rude (75) has finally been given his own network program, after fifty years of touring. This comes after ABC, Channel Ten and Channel 9 reveal that they've exhausted all their other options - as they strive to put every single smug white cunt in the country behind a desk. "We've run out of progressive, open-minded...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Many people say many things about money. Some say it can’t buy happiness. Some say it can. For local CEO Levi Davis, while money has dulled the blows dished out by the jocks he went to school with, it certainly hasn’t rendered them painless. The CEO of a successful tech startup in Betoota confirmed to The Advocate that despite...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Aussie junior football coaches from both codes of rugby were left rather embarrassed over the weekend, after a bizarre, almost supernatural, phenomena  took place during an under 12s football match between the Bedourie Bullants and the Windorah Wild Cats. It was just after half-time in the mid-north Channel Country derby, when Bedourie Bullants U12s Blue fullback, Charlie Schifcofske, broke the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact An elderly Asian migrant from Betoota's Flight Path District has left his grandchild's social circle in complete shock today after blurting out one of the most offensive racially-charged comments anyone has ever heard since first incarnation of One Nation. This rather shocking statement comes as a surprise to the diverse group of friends, given the fact that the old...