Headlines

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Recent studies have found that there is a close to 100% chance that the curly haired youth with a white t-shirt tucked into a pair of skinny jeans wants to ask their barista for the cafe’s wifi password. As Maxine Baker (23) began to make her way toward the counter of Wolf & Penny cafe in Betoota’s French Quarter,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In an increasingly tense political climate, bi-partisan consensus on mainstream issues appears harder to come by with the exception of Labor and Liberal both hoping to find more dirt on former Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce in order to distract the public from the Adani coal mine. In the nearly four weeks since Barnaby Joyce resigned as Deputy PM amidst...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A groundbreaking study from Melbourne University of Motherhood (MUM) has concluded that the best cure for boredom is to clean your bedroom, something that mum, apparently knew all along. The scientific study was launched five years ago by a group of mothers and scientists who wanted to determine the most effective way to end the complaints of boredom that...

 LEROY PERCIVAL | Music Editor | CONTACT October 24th will see a radical new music festival for all Australian industry heads.  Aimed at punters who love hearing all the classic excuses from yesteryear, Blokevibes 2018 has been flagged as the premier music festival designed for curators of other music festivals to get together and check out all sorts of awesome excuses.  The festival will feature Australia’s most...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact Ben Kibota (29) is a bright middle-aged man currently climbing his way up the ladder at one of Betoota’s top law firms, his successes have earnt him an enviable reputation, with each one of his colleagues attesting to his intelligence and tenacity. However, it seems that Ben’s girlfriend, Josie, doesn’t get to see the same side of...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A bald labourer with faded tatts and long whispy red goatee has taken offence today at the fact that another labour hire company has sent a few blokes to work alongside him and his boys. Shane (47) says he wouldn't be surprised if he's getting ripped off, given their unwillingness to tell a complete stranger how much they get...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Easter, across most cultures, is the most underrated time of the year - it has been confirmed. Easter, also called Pascha by the Greeks, or Resurrection Sunday by nerd - is a festival and holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, described in the New Testament as having occurred on the third day of his burial after...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT White South African farmers “deserve special attention” from Australia due to the “horrific circumstances” of land seizures and violence, paired with their beautiful white skin, says Peter Dutton. The former highway cop turned Immigration Minister says his department was examining a range of methods to fast-track their path to Australia on humanitarian or other visa programs designed to help...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Diamantina Anglican College says that aside from the twenty or so pedophiles that have been caught lurking their classrooms and boarding house for the last couple decades, you really can't get an education like the one they offer anywhere else. Despite a large number of past students and their families spruiking the benefits of attending this iconic private...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local coward and so-called funny guy has today shown his hand as an indifferent and complacent sociopath that is completely fine with all the horrific things happening in the world. 34-year-old Lyle Filipovich has left audiences feeling sick to their stomach after debuting a new show that fails too once call-out Donald Trump or Australia's own conservative policy-makers. One...