Headlines

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT It’s 4:30pm and the girls have been on the rosé since midday. The heels have come off, the makeup has soaked in and Jessica Lavender (25) has just taken over the AUX cord. Jessica, who once dated west Betoota’s most successful hip-hop artist, considers herself a bit of a rap aficionado and any chance she gets, she likes to...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Local erratic and full-time social smoker, Ella Gibson (44) reckons the reason she’s a bit out there is due to her ADHD, a condition which at the time or writing she has not been diagnosed with. Known for taking board games too seriously, listening to music without headphones on and encouraging binge drinking to the point of alcoholism, Gibson...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With an estimated two-thirds of the Great Barrier Reef being devastated by severe coral bleaching, optimistic scientists say there is hope the reef is just going through a belated Eminem phase. Marine biologist Stan Mitchell (52) states recent studies of the reef suggest Australian poluters might not have such a guilty conscience as originally thought, with the possibility the...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT After starting a new role as an intern at one of Betoota’s top hedge funds, Jessica Mansur (21) has today successfully executed her first interaction with the company’s CEO. The run in occurred in the hallway, as Jessica explains, they were both trying to get past each other, but became engaged in an awkward dance. It was at...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Indian coal magnate, Guatam Adani is reportedly furious with the fact that he has been left with no option other than to explore bottom rung lending apps in an attempt to secure funding for his controversial coal mine in Central Queensland. Nimble, the cash converters of financial technology, had previously only been popular with bachelors halfway through a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Members of the New South Wales riot and public order squad have had to attend to an ongoing incident at ABC's Triple J studios in inner-Sydney this afternoon. It is believed that a number of prominent male Triple J employees, from the announcing and programming department, have gotten hold of a hand gun and are attempting to play a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Deputy Prime Minister and the current Member for Grayndler, Anthony Albanese MP has today had a slip of the tongue during a press conference at Ashfield station in the Sydney's West. While campaigning for better transport options from Canberra to Sydney's CBD, the Shadow Minister for Infrastructure, Transport, Cities and Regional Development, said big projects like high speed rail...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Bill Shorten's hardening indifference to Adani's proposed coal mine has unnerved his Queensland colleagues, who fear there will be a regional backlash for the ALP if they can't promise jobs on top of jobs for FIFO workers from out of state. Speaking to inner-Melbourne constituents today, Mr Shorten today threw out another position on the $16 billion Adani mine,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A transient man who dad has contracted to thin out the wild animals that keep killing themselves on his fences, shouldn't be driving around the family property while the kids are awake, and certainly isn't allowed over the cattle grid entrance to the homestead, says mum. The nameless vagrant, who comes from Adelaide or somewhere fucking ages away, doesn't...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Fair Work Commission has given the green light for the construction and maritime unions to merge into a new "super union", which has sparked concerns from business groups that their long-held fears of a superhuman protestor will finally come to life. In a decision published today, the commission said it would allow the Construction, Forestry, Mining and Energy...