Headlines

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact For most normal people, business conferences are a chance get a paid day out of the office, make painful small talk with coworkers and come home with a bag full of useless shit. However, for up-and-coming businessman Thomas Cunningham (28) he was so glad to meet you at the conference and can’t wait to chat...

LEROY PERCIVAL | Investigative | CONTACT A local baby boomer, who’s previously struggled to really enjoy anything, has finally found something to sink his teeth into, after discovering that the Facebook has a page called DashCam Owners Of Australia. 64 year-old Derryn Jones, a pioneer of the DashCam craze, had tried numerous hobby’s over the years, including cycling, jet skiing and leaf blowing (both...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Wilson’s life has never been particularly exciting, but they reached a whole new level of white bread today, after officially registering to attend the live filming of a TV program. Sources close to the family contacted The Advocate, alerting us to fact that the family of 4 had achieved peak vanilla and put their names...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact "No that hasn't fixed it. It only made it worse" says local retiree, Annette Mckoy down the phone to a stranger named Reni. "I think you've ruined our Skype, Reni" she says. Reni works in the call room for Telstra, and is quite familiar with baby boomers calling him about random issues they are having with applications and software that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sun spots, a brief stint of unemployment and an illegitimate child. That was the year that was for the Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce. Unlike his glorious headlines of 2016, which involved the Johnny Depp saga and the rescuing of local councils between Armidale and Tamworth - 2017/18 hasn't been as kind to the Member for New England. While there...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Nostalgia | CONTACT While social media has had a positive impact on the lives of billions of people, one local Betoota Cove girl is today wishing the digital sphere didn’t exist. Jackie Archdale (27) has had an unfortunate photo album of her year 10 formal resurface thanks to the Facebook memories feature.   Jackie is now questioning how she managed to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The iconic Brisbane swagman known as Zbigniew Marian Wilczek Alba or 'Ziggy the bagman' is actually a millionaire, and chooses to be homeless for fun - that's according to the people of Brisbane. The Polish migrant, who has gradually moved between streetside settlements in the inner-city suburb of Toowong for many years now, is allegedly worth millions - and everyone knows...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 3-month-old Tamworth pub yarn involving Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce's whirlwind return to young fatherhood has finally made it to Sydney media outlets today, leading the rest of the nation to wonder how fucking stressed the big bloke must have been over the last six months. The Daily Telegraph, and equally as untrustworthy print newspapers have today revealed...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Barnaby Joyce, the Member for New England has reportedly taken a day out of his busy schedule to celebrate his ancestry today. Sources close to the Leader of The Nationals have informed the Advocate, that although he renounced his Kiwi citizenship late last year in order to be re-elected to parliament Joyce will still be...

A year-long study into the Australian cracker market by top scientists has concluded Jatz are superior in every way, shape and form. “Anyone buying anything else is kidding themselves,” Professor Hans Van der Klay, lead researcher said. “Those ridiculous water crackers are over-priced, over-rated and over-abundant on supermarket shelves”. As well as possessing enough melt-in-your-mouth saltiness to be eaten alone, researchers found...