Headlines

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With mounting house prices and increased cost of living (see Coachella tickets) becoming more widespread, welfare and lifestyle margins has become an important issue for many members of Generation Y. With youth organisations working hard to provide support for young people dealing with an array of different issues, one organisation has sought to help perhaps the most ostracised sub-group...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As investigations continue into the alleged sexual assaults perpetrated by a loser thespian that had one hit song in 1990 and spent the rest of his performing career with an over-inflated ego, media commentators have called for the justice system to play hard ball. This comes after after a joint ABC-Fairfax investigation revealed allegations Logie-winning Australian media identity Craig...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT According to Alex Tacoma (27) writing a best selling novel isn’t always easy, especially when the cafe whose free wifi she chooses to use play Spotify with the ads on. “This place has a great vibe but honestly, how hard is it to pay $12 a month to get rid of the Spotify ads! I’m trying to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An Aryan Betoota local by the name of Angus Jones has today explained why he doesn't share the same features as his other Italian-Australian mates, claiming that his family migrated to Australia from the North of Italy 'a few generations ago'. "They are way fairer up there" he says. "They almost look like the English. That's on my Dad's...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has issued a pretty well surmised statement on this most recent Facebook status. “Most people won’t share this!!!!” was the caption to begin a long winded status copied and pasted onto Warren Anderson's profile today. The 67 year old retired plumber joined Facebook a little over a few months ago but has struggled with the concept of...

MARC VENUTI | Editor | CONTACT On Monday morning at approximately 7:30am, local party legend Pete Tal was overheard, whilst sitting cross legged on the grass at Betoota Park, laughing in disgust at everyone heading to work. It was reported that six hours into his acid trip and only minutes away from his third pinger, Pete remarked to Pixie, Line and Zela (three friends he made at...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An aspiring theatre actor has been consoled today by the automatic transfer of millions of dollars into her savings account, after reporting a high-profile colleague that sexually assaulted her in the work place. "Woo hoo!" she shouts, as she drives through the countryside in a brand new Ferrari that she just paid for outright. "This is what it's all about" The...

LOUIS BURKE | Contributor | CONTACT After failing to appeal to ordinary Australians by appearing on Q&A and public transport, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull is taking a different approach to his public image by letting you know that if you knew what being condescending is, you’d know that he’s not being condescending. “I’m just speaking in an intelligent manner which is something not everyone understands....

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A low-level marijuana and ecstasy dealer that you still have on Facebook from high school has got a new suit, it has been confirmed. The new threads, complete with an aqua tie and pin-striped lining, were debuted to social media this afternoon, as the former team mate from under 11s cricket posted a selfie to Facebook from inside the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Anthropologists from James Cook University have today unveiled a panicked research project aimed at documenting a cultural ritual once practiced by hundreds of thousands of people world wide. Breakdance battling. An Australian past time, mostly practiced by suburban youths who enjoy emulated the dress and linguistics of 1980s African-American hip hop artists - unfortunately this community is almost extinct. With...