“Anyone Else Wanna Have A Crack?” Asks Pokies Sector After Months Of Research Digs Up Nazi Costume
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The message is now clear to both sides of Australian politics, steer clear of regulating the pokie machine mafia - or else risk having political fixers dig up the worst thing you have ever done in your whole entire life.
NSW Premier Dominic Perrottet has learnt this the hard way, after the entire nation’s media cycle is now plastered...
Queenslander On Temple Tour Of Tokyo Asks Guide If They Know Any Pub Playing The BBL
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A Japanese tour guide is under some pressure today, as he attempts to welcome a new breed of tourist to Tokyo.
As a guide with over 15 years experience in showing global citizens the wonders of Tokyo, local Japanese man Makoto Takahashi (38) has a wealth of knowledge about his city, and is usually able to answer...
Supreme Leaders Of Caravan Park’s Factional Tent Villages Meet To Discuss Boat Ramp Schedule
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
True harmony has been reached this week, as the bosses of two separate tent villages meet to arrange an armistice on neutral territory.
As the supreme leaders of their self respective campsites, local dads Rick Cronin and Mick Hasler take great pride in their heralded position as the duel kingpins of Port Macquarie caravan park, a place...
Ethnic Grandpa Comes Through With Secret Cherry Connection On Public Holiday
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Somehow along the way, cherries became associated with Australian Christmas celebrations with many Christmas spreads being incomplete without a big bowl of dark red guys, and a smaller bowl for collecting pips and stems.
However, cherries are one of the latest items of produce to get caught up in the 2022 ‘fuck you, this is the price now’ craze...
Christmas Cracker Joke Writers Have Done It Again Confirms 8yo Nephew
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
Christmas cracker jokes are just as good this year as they have been in previous years, according to 8yo Bey Blade champion and aspiring YouTube sensation Brayden Jessop, 8.
The critical acclaim from the high comedy connoisseur comes just minutes after Brayden ripped open 2 fresh 12 packs of the Christmas staple and pulled every single cracker to sample...
Report: Boxing Day One Day Of Year Where Leftovers Are Premium Cuisine
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTDespite being largely disregarded for the other 364 days a year, Boxing Day is the one day a year where leftovers are premium cuisine fit for a king.
Always celebrated on December 26, the day after Christmas, Boxing Day is proof that you can only enjoy something so much if you have work the next day.
While some spend their...
Tall Couple To Produce Super Babies That Will Conquer Us All
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTStart digging your damn graves because two tall people have gotten together and are possibly planning world domination of some kind.
As a tall man, Ryan Core (26) usually has a good shot with the ladies, which is why some were surprised when he started dating Susie Anferth (27) who as a tall woman is used to scaring most...
Gabba Curators Under Fire For Using A Bit Of The Daintree As A Drop In Pitch
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Gabba curators have refused to apologise for using a section of virgin Daintree rainforest as a drop in pitch for the first Test against South Africa today in our state capital Brisbane.
Curators have told The Advocate that they've "painstakingly" selected a piece of rainforest to use as the pitch in a rapid departure...
Free Spirited Single Friend Has A ‘Blind Date’ Like It’s The Bloody Nineties
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn what may just be her kookiest venture yet, Betootan Odette Brown (29) is going on a ‘blind date’ like it’s the bloody ‘90s or something.
Blind dates were an analogue form of dating where two single people were united by a mutual friend, often a nosey coworker or aggressive aunty.
The term ‘blind date’ comes from the practice of...
Pop Insists Grand Kids Watch Obscure Christmas Movie From 100 Years Ago
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA horrible tradition/precedent began today, as pop Stephen Kowalchuk sat his grandkids down and made them watch a weird and obscure Christmas movie from like 100 years ago.
A fan of cinema since the days where it cost a penny for a double feature (with a few serials thrown in for good measure) Kowalchuk remains an enjoyer of films...
