Local News

New Mum Considers Throwing Mother In Laws Gift Out Window After Hearing Words ‘COW  MOO’ 100 Times A Day 

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactChristmas is supposed to be a wonderful time of the year that brings the family together to share in moments of joy, but for local woman Isla Ford , it’s the day that confirmed her most paranoid suspicions. Her mother in law hates her.  Having only dealt with microaggressions until now, Isla had almost convinced herself that Deb’s saccharine demeanour...

Bloke Rocking 3-Piece Tweed Suit At Ipswich Races Been Watching Too Much Peaky Blinders

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA local bloke has managed to look like an incredibly dapper fuckwit this afternoon, rolling into the Ipswich races dressed up like a ‘Peaky Blinder’.Despite a sweltering 36 degree Brisbane day, St Lucia Real Estate Agent Charlie Kimber (25) was spotted entering the racecourse dressed in a three-piece tweed suit and heavy woollen trench coat, as...

AirBnB DVD Collection Boasting Blades Of Glory Unfriendly Reminder Bloke Is About To Enter His Thirties

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA man who grew up in the golden age of Will Ferrell cinema has been blindsided today, after realising he’s about to tip into his dirty thirties.After attempting to enjoy a romantic weekend away with his new girlfriend, The Advocate understands local 29-year-old Jacob Hacking received quite a shock, after exploring the shelves of his countryside AirBnb.Prying open...

Company Persuades Workers To Head Back Into The Office With Pod Machine And Prison Bickies

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The slippery crackle of a tray of Arnotts Family Assorted biscuits can be heard this morning, as a Betoota insurance agency attempts to bribe their workers into the office with some chalky stale treats. Despite downsizing their office space during the pandemic and only having enough desks for a quarter of their staff, Zupa Health have...

Clumsy Beach Goer Mortified After Failed Towel Curtain Manoeuvre Leads To Accidentally Flashing Young Family

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local bloke has been left red-faced today, after accidentally giving some random children a view of his salty Johnson. After stopping by Betoota Foreshore for a quick swim to kickstart his weekend, The Advocate understands everything in the life of local man Wilson Craig-David was going quite swimmingly. Slurping down a Mango Magic he had...

Old Video Game Really Holding Up After A Few Cones

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTSince beginning a new chapter as a recently single man, Steven Pyne (46) is enjoying the simple things in life whether they be the tranquillity of an evening alone or the convenience of waking up on the couch with the telly already on and your outfit sorted.Last month, Pyne’s estranged wife Patricia declared she was not having a...

Advice Column | Becoming Your Own Man Through The Bank Of Mum And Dad

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTI don’t usually identify as an early adopter of new things. Yet I know I was way ahead of the curve on becoming my own man through the Bank of Mum and Dad. It’s been a good 20 years since I got Mum and Dad to buy my first investment property for me. Thankfully, they...

Hungover Man Impressed With Artsy Cafes Free Gift Wrapping On Bacon And Egg Roll

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A man who can’t remember his last name has found salvation this morning, as he resurrects himself from an insufferable hangover. After getting a little carried away at a 32nd birthday event, in which he single handedly put away an entire bottle of Stones Green Ginger Wine as an entree, The Advocate understands local insurance broker...

Advice Column | Stockpiling Silver Ingots Until The Collapse Of Civilisation As An Investment Strategy

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT I don’t want to sound like a a youtube researcher here, or some kind of deluded doomsday prepper, but the collapse of civilisation as we know it is now only mere months away. With the British Pound sinking to record lows, the US Federal Reserve anticipating a recession, and the war in the Ukraine...

Lads Trip Organiser Withholds Information Surrounding The Inclusion Of World’s Biggest Pest

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn breaking news the lads are going to Europe and as usual it’s been left up to just one bloke to organise the entire trip.As he was the only one who took maths in high school Jonothan ‘John Boy’ Boise (23) will be booking flights and accommodation for the four week crawl he and his five mates will...

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