Local News

Bad Boy Harvey Norman Salesman Eyeing Up New Gig At JB HI-FI After Getting Hectic Forearm Tattoo

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A rebellious TV sales specialist is believed to be updating his resume this week, as he weighs up the opportunity to join the dark side. After spending the last two years slinging home appliances and whitegoods at the flagship Harvey Norman located in the Betoota Heights supacentre, local man Sean Howarth is understood to be thinking about...

Newlyweds With ‘Nice’ Chair In Corner Of Bedroom Unaware They Come Across As Depraved Sex Freaks

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA couple who innocently thought an armchair would make a nice addition for their bedroom have this week copped a strange look from their friends, after showing off the beautiful chest of drawers they’d nabbed for a bargain on Marketplace. Chris and Sandra Brown are alleged to have had another couple over for dinner last Sunday night, who they’d...

Romantic Prospect From Dating App Quickly Ghosted After Woman Takes A Scroll Through His Following List

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIf there’s one good thing about modern dating, is that social media is a quick way to glean information about a person even before you've met them - or in Chelsea Fuller's case, doing the necessary evil every girl dreads doing and taking a scroll through their Instagram following. Though Chelsea doesn’t enjoy doing this, she finds it...

Half Hearted Plans To Work On The Summer Rig Shelved Following Third La Nina Declaration

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local man is breathing a sigh of relief today. Following another hedonistic weekend of consuming too many things that are bad for him but make him feel good, Albert Russel said he was feeling a little flat this Tuesday evening. Feeling the pressure to go and erase some of the weekend's consumption at the gym this Tuesday...

Highly Caffeinated Woman Scrolling Tik Tok Learns Her Leg Shaking Habit Is A Sign Of ADHD, Autism And BPD

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactSitting at her desk while she mindlessly scrolls through Tik Tok on full blast, Taylor Manners  finds herself pausing on yet another video hitting her with a major mental health diagnosis. She’s been getting a lot of these lately, which she’s attributed to being ‘totally attacked by my for you page’ and not because she keeps training the algorithm...

Aussie Royal Family Historian Cashes In On Media Interviews Before Expertise Becomes Redundant

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A University professor is on a profitable media offensive this week, as he clutches to fill his coffers before his expertise becomes redundant. A lecturer at the Diamantina’s most exclusive tertiary sandstone institution, Royal Betoota University, local Associate Professor Edmund Cromwell is believed to be incredibly busy, as he looks to book in as many media appearances...

Local Woman Refuses To Accept Defeat And Exit The Multiple Goodreads Tabs Left Open On Phone

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has today discovered that leaving tabs open on her phone won't encourage her to read a book, but only to make her feel guilty for refusing to indulge in any form of entertainment that takes more than two minutes to consume. It’s alleged Danielle Hutchinson had collected a few recommended books from ‘Booktok’ (the book...

Groom On Bucks Disgraces Himself With Drunken Display Of Human Emotion

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA local man has turned into a local ninny earlier today, as groom-to-be Markus Bolt (32) drunkenly disgraced himself with a display of actual human emotion.While on what is currently being described as a ‘bucks year’, Bolt found himself in a hot tub, naked but for a tutu, on three different types of pills, with derogatory henna tattoos...

Report: No One Owns More Beanies Than Drummer Who Works At Bottle Shop

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTWith woolly lid season soon making way for warmer weather, it has been confirmed that no one owns more beanies than a drummer who also works at a bottle shop.The recent report into winter hats and fashion by the ABS confirmed that up to 60% of the nation's woolly hats are owned by bottle shop workers who love...

“Anyone Got A Note?” Asks Bloke In Pub Toilets Who Obviously Wants To Pay Tribute To The Queen

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke has seen just how many monarchists live amongst us, after he was asked by a stranger if he had a note he could borrow - obviously to take a closer look at or something. Speaking to The Advocate, Murray Taylor says he was visiting Stockies when this incident occurred and the bloke looked a little...

Social

781,079FansLike
603,780FollowersFollow
119,365FollowersFollow

Breaking News