Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local man has made an interesting decision to not flush his very pungent urine today, leaving his wife wondering what kind of animal she’s living with. Speaking to his wife, May Keene, 32, The Advocate learns that Jason apparently only does this when he’s severely dehydrated, ensuring the leftover urine not only stinks, but is also a rancid...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTFriends and family of local man Will Thomas (25) are becoming increasingly concerned as they observe his sudden fixation on sipping espressos outside his local cafe while wearing bowling shirts, leading many to suspect that he's in the midst of yet another binge-watch of HBO's classic mob drama series, The Sopranos."He used to be such a laid-back bloke,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTBeing a teenager isn’t always fun, unless you’ve got a fake ID in which case it definitely is. One such fake ID owner is promising Betoota youth Felix Norx (17) who worked hard to secure his own fake ID so that he may enjoy all the privileges of adult life.“It was so easy,” stated the young man who deserved...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTBetoota Polytechnic University student, Alan Sowada (19) has proved he might actually have a career as an engineer one day after being able to feed himself with just one hand-me-down frying pan that dates back to the Abbott administration. After making arrangements to study on campus, Sowada was gifted an op shop’s worth of kitchen utensils, among them a...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn a plot twist that has left both students and faculty baffled, an art teacher who recently caught some of her students smoking weed on school premises has expressed her deep disappointment not in the fact that they're smoking weed at school, but in their horrible joint rolling skills.Moya Ashcroft (59), a long-serving art teacher known for her...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Local stand-up comedian Finbar Reynold's (38) decades of honing his craft on the open mic circuit have been swiftly overshadowed by a Gen-Z sensation who went viral on TikTok with a mere 15-second clip of self-deprecating humor. Finbar, a resident comic in the Australian comedy scene known for his razor-sharp wit and social commentary, was left reeling after stumbling...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTLocal man, Simon Boyd (32), was brimming with nostalgia and anticipation as he eagerly rebooted his favorite childhood game, only to swiftly abandon his quest after realizing the daunting time commitments required to actually get to the fun part of the game. With fond memories of the vast lands of Tamriel, Simon dusted off his old gaming console and...

ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | CONTACTA Flight Path District and child-free woman has been rocked to her fashion core today after bumping into an old high school friend and her toddler outside the local cafe ‘Espresso Yourself’. What started as a regular work-from-home Thursday of deciding if what she wore to bed was decent enough to wear on a coffee run before firing up...

ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | CONTACTI SURVIVED: Local Admin Assistant turned ‘Small Business Owner’ (heavy on the ‘ ‘) turned Admin Assistant has been forced to look inward today after watching a cult documentary on Netflix and relating just a little bit too hard. A couple of years ago Betoota Heights woman Carly Woodall (34) was surprised to find a Facebook message in her...

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTLocal woman and new mother, Sarah Marley (32), was left devastated after discovering that she had been unfollowed on instagram by Petra Dvořák, the Czech girl she shared a fleeting moment of camaraderie with in a London hostel back in 2014. Sarah was taken aback when she stumbled upon Petra's Instagram profile, only to find that she had been...