Sports

JT Kicks Off Conditioning Drills By Sending Maroons Into The Mad Cow To Wind Up Some Army Boys

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland assistant coach Johnathan Thurston has today put the Maroons squad through a unique series of drills, in his first ever solo session with the boys. The Townsville icon was on familiar turf at today's captain's run in CountryBank stadium. However, it was after smoko that the real training began, as he lined the squad up outside the notorious Mad...

Footballer Booed Into Retirement While Game Did Nothing Surprisingly Turns Down Hall Of Fame

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The AFL is reportedly scratching its head today after a former player they left to fend for himself at the hands of their racist fans decided to turn down an invitation to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Nearly 6 years after the AFL allowed two time Brownlow medalist Adam Goodes to booed out of the game,...

Injury Cloud Surrounds Maroons As Entire Squad Reportedly Contracts Deadly Indian Strain

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT On the eve of State Origin 1, Maroons Coach Paul Green has just dropped a bombshell announcement. The new Queensland coach has revealed to the media that there are fears the entire 20 man squad may have contracted the Indian Strain of the bat fever. Noted as the worst type currently getting around, Green confirmed this morning that...

Australian YouTuber Robelinda2 Calls Out Floyd Mayweather After Logan Paul Stalemate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the boxing world comes to terms with whatever the fuck that just was, another giant YouTuber star has thrown his hat in the ring for the next blockbuster celebrity bout. Robelinda2, whose actual name is Rob Moody has just taken to YouTube with an explosive video calling out Floyd Mayweather. 'Youtube's cricket hero' Robelinda2 revealed to his...

Heartbreaking Tributes Flow As Millions Tune In For The Untimely Death Of American Boxing

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the slapstick YouTuber Logan Paul enters the ring to fight boxing great, Floyd Mayweather, in a Miami exhibition event - both America and other great boxing nation's are today mourning the loss of their once proud sport. After a career that has seen not one professional loss, Floyd Mayweather is arguably the most genius boxer of all time,...

2021 NRL Best Tackle Compilation Mostly Just Blokes Getting Sin Binned

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact With NRL fans, commentators and players alike unhappy with the league’s crackdown on any head contact, most believe it is the fans that will ultimately suffer (especially if the new rules are successful in stopping long-term head injuries for the players). One example of this will surely be the 2021 NRL Best Tackle Compilation which at this point will...

Sports Journo Breaks The Mould By Not Being An Alcoholic Gambling Addict With Fatherless Kids

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Betoota Advocate's rugby league editor has today been ostracised by the greater sports journalism community for his taboo lifestyle. Imran Gashkori, a 45-year-old loving father of three kids who works out four times a week, has been rising through the ranks of our humble regional newspaper since he was a cadet in the late 1990s. As a career sports...

NRL Fan Says New High Shot Rules Remind Him Of When They Banned Grievous Bodily Harm In Origin

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Drama surrounding the NRL's new high shot rules continues into Origin, as rugby league traditionalists demand that administrators backpedal on their decision to ban footballers from running as hard as they can into another footballer who is also running as hard as he can, and causing lifelong brain injuries as rotator cuff muscles clash with cheekbones. Players do not...

Senior NRL Players Plan Revolt Against V’Landys As Fears Grow Cocaine Will Be Banned Next

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Peter V'Landys, the first sports administrator on planet earth to get organised sport back on TV screens during the unprecedented 2020 pandemic, is under increasing scrutiny as journalists and players grow frustrated with his constant tinkering of NRL rules. The main gripe, according to the salivating meathead league reporters Paul Kent and James 'Baldy' Hooper, is that players are...

Big Country Adapts To New NRL High Shot Rules, Focuses On How To Burst A Man’s Spleen Legally

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While the vultures of rugby league journalism continue to make up bullshit stories about a senior player coup to take down NRL chairman Peter V'Landys, the game's administrators insist that the new high-shot rules will appy to the State Of Origin series as well. There has been a drastic spike in sin-bins for dangerous contact in the fixtures since...

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