Sports

Wayne Bennett Wakes Up To 97 Missed Calls

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT South Sydney coach Wayne Bennett has woken up to a bit of a fright this morning. Last year's Maroons mentor reportedly arose to find 97 missed calls popping up on his phone screen. "Jesus, I thought I'd missed an emergency or something," said Wayne Bennett, whose phone had been on silent overnight. "Lot of text messages too. I...

“Right Where We Want Youse” Says Entire State Of Queensland After 50-6 Hiding In The Ville

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A hat-trick from returning Blues centre Tom Trbojevic and stand out performances from Brian To'o and Latrell Mitchell have silenced an entire Townsville stadium of Maroon overnight, as game one of State Of Origin was snatched from the hands of Queensland from the jump. Predictably, New South Wales fans are today cheering even louder than Queensland did after our...

Peter V’Landys Signs Executive Order Allowing Payne And Tino To Go At It Without Consequences

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Good news State of Origin fans, the biff is back! That's right, with the series opener kicking off tonight in Townsville around 8:50 pm, NRL boss Peter V'Landys has signed off on the boys throwing hands. With viewers baying for some structured violence in the wake of the high shot crackdown, V'Landys has confirmed that the two big boys...

JT Kicks Off Conditioning Drills By Sending Maroons Into The Mad Cow To Wind Up Some Army Boys

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland assistant coach Johnathan Thurston has today put the Maroons squad through a unique series of drills, in his first ever solo session with the boys. The Townsville icon was on familiar turf at today's captain's run in CountryBank stadium. However, it was after smoko that the real training began, as he lined the squad up outside the notorious Mad...

Footballer Booed Into Retirement While Game Did Nothing Surprisingly Turns Down Hall Of Fame

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The AFL is reportedly scratching its head today after a former player they left to fend for himself at the hands of their racist fans decided to turn down an invitation to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Nearly 6 years after the AFL allowed two time Brownlow medalist Adam Goodes to booed out of the game,...

Injury Cloud Surrounds Maroons As Entire Squad Reportedly Contracts Deadly Indian Strain

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT On the eve of State Origin 1, Maroons Coach Paul Green has just dropped a bombshell announcement. The new Queensland coach has revealed to the media that there are fears the entire 20 man squad may have contracted the Indian Strain of the bat fever. Noted as the worst type currently getting around, Green confirmed this morning that...

Australian YouTuber Robelinda2 Calls Out Floyd Mayweather After Logan Paul Stalemate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the boxing world comes to terms with whatever the fuck that just was, another giant YouTuber star has thrown his hat in the ring for the next blockbuster celebrity bout. Robelinda2, whose actual name is Rob Moody has just taken to YouTube with an explosive video calling out Floyd Mayweather. 'Youtube's cricket hero' Robelinda2 revealed to his...

Heartbreaking Tributes Flow As Millions Tune In For The Untimely Death Of American Boxing

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the slapstick YouTuber Logan Paul enters the ring to fight boxing great, Floyd Mayweather, in a Miami exhibition event - both America and other great boxing nation's are today mourning the loss of their once proud sport. After a career that has seen not one professional loss, Floyd Mayweather is arguably the most genius boxer of all time,...

2021 NRL Best Tackle Compilation Mostly Just Blokes Getting Sin Binned

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact With NRL fans, commentators and players alike unhappy with the league’s crackdown on any head contact, most believe it is the fans that will ultimately suffer (especially if the new rules are successful in stopping long-term head injuries for the players). One example of this will surely be the 2021 NRL Best Tackle Compilation which at this point will...

Sports Journo Breaks The Mould By Not Being An Alcoholic Gambling Addict With Fatherless Kids

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Betoota Advocate's rugby league editor has today been ostracised by the greater sports journalism community for his taboo lifestyle. Imran Gashkori, a 45-year-old loving father of three kids who works out four times a week, has been rising through the ranks of our humble regional newspaper since he was a cadet in the late 1990s. As a career sports...

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