Sports

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The AFL has confirmed this morning that it is currently working around the clock to fix the issue of crowdless stadiums. This followed a weekend of empty stadiums, with the slight exception of a thousand or so at the Adelaide Oval, which left the games players directionless and wayward. Begrudgingly speaking to The Advocate this morning, AFL boss Gillon...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Fox Sports has pulled off an 'EPIC' prank it can be revealed today. Speaking exclusively to The Advocate a producer from the sports media outlet explained that they actually just sent out a random old codger from the pub to speak on the NRL 360 program last night in the place of Buzz Rothfield. "And no one even noticed," laughed...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Reporters from The Betoota Advocate's River City Bureau have today confirmed that Brisbane is not really in the mood today, aye. This comes as the Brisbane Broncos recieved the most thorough toweling up in their club's history, after a 59-0 spanking from the Sydney Roosters at home last night. The once proud club, who boasts the highest premiership to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Fox Footy has today confirmed that it will implement virtual crowd noise when the AFL season recommences on June 11, two whole weeks after the alpha NRL kicked off. The initiative follows a successful first weekend of NRL where ratings were the highest they’ve been since in four years. It also marks the Victorian game taking yet another leaf...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a peculiar turn of events, the Sydney Roosters have been confused by some rowdy fans. While the game wasn't at their traditional home, their home away from home (because the NSW government had to tear down the SFS and rebuild it for some reason) reportedly put off the Chooks by playing virtual noise behind the game....

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The non-stop media scrutiny surround Latrell Mitchell has fire up once again tonight, as the the Rabbitohs star prepares for his first rugby league match in over two months. After years of non-stop clickbait commentary surrounding the 22-year-old's every movement, tonight's match is being viewed as the ultimate test as to whether or not he is fit enough...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In an incredible turn of events, Rugby League Chairman St Peter V'Landys has missed the NRL kick-off. Despite pulling the strings to orchestrate the return of greatest game of all, the Godfather of the NRL hasn't been able to make the kick-off between Brisbane and Parramatta, for the baptism of a nephew. Speaking exclusively to The Advocate V'Landys explained...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Currently, the only contact sport being played (or if you live in Queensland, The Only Sport) is NRL but that's not the only reason players are cheering. Relaxed COVID-19 restrictions allow gatherings of up to ten, meaning NRL players can finally recommence their sex lives as normal. "Be they single or taken, this is a welcome announcement for all...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Irwin Paisley-Adair says he's not really too sure what all the fuss about tonight is. The 54-year-old Accountant from Betoota Grove says he probably won't bother paying much attention to the return of Rugby League, a phenomenon that has plenty around the country and the world intrigued. This follows the NRL plowing on full steam ahead towards kick off...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Before this morning, West Tigers player Waylon Zammit (31) was only really known as a run-of-the-mill club journeyman with a hectic neck tatt. That was before his skipper rolled an ankle at training and was unable to talk to the press while he iced it down. With no other players on the team capable of stringing a sentence together...