Sports

Selectors Increasingly Worried That Their Wives Keep Asking About The Greek Boy From Perth

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a shock for the nation's cricket fans, Marcus Stoinis has been snubbed from Australia's limited over's teams once again. The Big Bash Player of the Year and big-hitting Melbourne Stars opener has been left out of Australia's T20 and One Day teams for the upcoming series over in South Africa, a move that has certainly raised eyebrows....

Mitch Pearce Finally Gets Around To Googling Mugabe

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact It was the tragic news that rocked the world, with sports fans and everyday people alike sharing their deepest condolences either through a personal tribute or a touching quote from an appropriate past legend. This appropriateness seemed to be lost on NRL halfback and Newcastle Knights captain, Mitchell Pearce, who, on January 27, posted a quote from Robert...

Pressure Mounting On Only Remaining Aus Open Ball Kid Who Hasn’t Taken A Screamer Yet

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Down in the cosmopolitan city of Melbourne young ball kid, Harry Hunt is feeling the heat. Not because of the weather conditions, but because the 13-year-old on the trip of a lifetime is under pressure. After nearly a month of living it up as a ball kid for the Australian Open tennis tournament, the young volunteer is coming...

Nation Confused By Having An Australian Still In The Tournament This Late On

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation of Australia is still coming to terms with the fact that it has a Mens or Womens Singles player still in the Australian Open this late on in January. Not since Lleyton lost to Russian heartthrob Marat Safin in the Australian Open final all the way back in 2005 has the country had a Singles player...

Catalan Dragons Controversially Sign Margaret Court On Lucrative 2 Year Deal

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT French rugby league club Catalan Dragons have sensationally pulled off a second huge signing today. After signing controversial former Wallaby Israel Folau overnight, the club who takes anyone has just announced that they've also landed the signature of Margaret Court. Immediately after Israel Folau's signing, Super League team the Wigan Warriors announced that they would be hosting...

NRL Off-Season Somehow Still Able To Make Headlines Alongside Coronavirus, Kobe, Impeachment

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In what comes as a real feather in the NRL Off-Season's Cap, the greatest game of all has successfully managed to score a few big headlines in the midst of the current media landscape. With nearly 100 people dead from the Coronavirus which is spreading across the Asia-Pacific region and locking down huge cities in China, the horrible news...

All Aboard: Kyng Kyrgios Train Departing Now

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news out of the city of Melbourne, the Kyng Kyrgios Express is departing now. For those wishing to get aboard the Express Service, please take a seat immediately. The train is about to take off against tennis icon Rafael Nadal.

Some Tennis Guy Revealed To Be A Dickhead

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Australia is shocked this week after footage captured during some sort of tennis match revealed a male tennis player to actually be a giant douche. “I was shocked,” said lifelong tennis fan Brenda Ray, 72. “I have been following him since he beat that other tennis guy who turned out to be a knob-head, and to find out that...

10 Peach And Nine Honey Battle It Out For Super Rugby Broadcasting Rights

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some good news for the under seige game of Rugby Union in Australia, the battle for Super Rugby's broadcast rights have really heated up today. With the game under the pump after Fox Sports withdrew its offer, the battle to broadcast the code went quiet following a bit of noise from the highly regarded and reliable Optus...

Report: How Bout The Pipes On Stoinis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne Stars all-rounder and shoulda-been test cricketer Marcus Stoinis has great pipes, it has been confirmed. That's according to a recent survey of female BBL fans and same-sex-attracted males BBL fans, and completely straight male BBL fans that are able to identify a Greek adonis when they see one. The research was conducted by the Australian Cricket Board in an...

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