Sports

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The fallout from Australia's exit from the Rugby World Cup has continued, with Rugby Australia CEO Raelene Castle today announcing drastic new measures to buoy the boys. Australia crashed out of the Rugby World Cup at the quarterfinal stage in Oita, when the Wallabies conceded their biggest-ever score against England at a Rugby World Cup. Going down a 40-16. After five...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT While the nation gears up for Halloween tonight, the winner of the best costume has already announced it can be confirmed. Cooper Cronk just won Halloween! Despite the fact that huge numbers of children and adults are set to hit the streets in fancy dress-ups, Cooper Cronk has already taken out the Best Dressed award for the nation. The...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A rapidly ageing finance worker in the Old City District named Brad Wilkin is in desperate need of a partner it can be confirmed today. This comes after the 29-year-old looked like a pig in muck while checking out the Sheffield Scorecard's this afternoon. The Betoota Heights resident who has been in a vicious cycle of getting too...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking rugby league news, The Betoota Advocate can exclusively reveal the Sydney Roosters have made a big play to land cross-code superstar Sonny Bill Williams. After reports emerged that the Toronto Wolf Pack had tabled a staggering $9 million deal to the two time World Cup Winning All Black, the Sydney Roosters have wasted little time countering the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT South Africa's success in the Rugby World Cup is even tougher to stomach than it should be, it can be confirmed. With the Springboks cruising into the final against England after outmuscling a lifeless Wales overnight, a new report has confirmed that the scrum half's beautiful blonde locks make the success even worse. The report confirmed that the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact LaMelo Ball has taken the time today to take in a little bit of local culture it can be confirmed. The young superstar who sensationally signed with Illawarra Hawks in the NBL, asked some of the guys he is now playing with to show him around Wollongong. After a quick swim at Fairy Meadow following training, a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Online bookmakers have taken the opportunity today to put a positive spin on the recent allegations of animal cruelty and mistreatment in the horse racing industry. With the ABC revealing the horrific practices occurring within the industry last week, racing insiders have moved to assure the public they had no idea the practices were occurring despite being told...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A 23 test veteran for the Wallabies who is gainfully employed by Rugby Australia has today revealed the root cause of the games systematic and entrenched issues. Speaking to The Advocate from the Royal Sydney Golf Club today, Justin Davies explained that the array of issues with the rapidly declining game can all be pinned on one man, Michael Cheika....

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The rapidly dwindling rugby union fanbase is demanding answers this week. Luckily for those fans, Owen William-Walsh has them. The two test veteran who managed to find his way on a plane across the ditch for a couple of tests over thirty years ago said he knows what it will take to lift Rugby Union from what is...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a somewhat predictable situation, Rugby Australia's Marketing Pigeon has taken the fall for the Wallabies early exit from the World Cup. Earlier this morning, the people in charge of rugby in the country made the decision to fire the gun marketing pigeon and immediately called a specialist to install anti-spikes along the office perimeter. Despite the pigeons...