The Nation

Scotty Bails Out From Disastrous QLD Election Campaign And Parks His Arse On South Bank Beach

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has once again drawn criticism this week for get going when the going gets tough. This comes months of chaos, starting with the 2019 bushfires - which then faded into a sports rorts scandal, behaviour coronavirus inevitably changed the way we live forever. After copping flak for his poorly timed Hawaiian holiday in December, while...

Town Idiot Knocks Wind Out Of Himself Again Attempting A Backflip Off The Bridge Into River

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A 34-year-old man who should know better has knocked the wind out of himself again doing a backflip off Pont Bjelke into the Diamantina River below. Jumping off Pont Bjelke in the French Quarter is seen as a rite of passage for many local youths. Most jump off it a few times when they're 16 to...

Survey Reveals 7 In 10 White People Are Currently In Byron Bay

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A recent survey conducted by Tourism Australia of yuppie white dogs around the country has found that about 70% of them are currently in Byron Bay. The remaining 30% are either toying with the idea of going to Byron for some reason or planning to go to Gracetown south of Perth. This survey did not speak...

Hot Mess Gladys Has “Bad Hangxiety” After Getting Pissed And Spending $250m On Dodgy Grants

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The NSW Premier has spoken of how bad her hangxiety has been recently after it emerged she personally greenlit $100m in council grants in Coalition seats without any paperwork - leading auditors to suggest the figure could be as high as $250m. Gladys Berejiklian, who has so-far successfully avoided all responsibility for her government's vile...

Channel 9 To Release Rival Program SES Australia Ahead Of Big Summer Of Floods And Fires

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Channel 9 has today fired a big shot in the TV rating wars, announcing a new show to rival SAS Australia. The home of the Wide World Of Reality television has unveiled an exciting new concept - SES Australia. This follows the widespread publicity garnered by their competitor's show SAS Australia, which has seen a wide range of...

REX Pilot Apologises To Passengers For Repeatedly Stalling As He’s Not Used To Driving Boeing

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation's little airline that could has finally got their hands on a new Boeing 737 this week in the quest to take on Qantas and the airline formally known as Virgin. But one REX pilot was forced to apologise to passengers this morning for repeatedly stalling the new aircraft as he's not used to...

Hot Mess Gladys Declines To Answer Questions About Her New Cursive Wrist Tattoo

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Close friends of the New South Wales Premier say that they are now confident that the embattled Liberal party figure is slowly putting to bed the drama of the last fortnight, and is now finally able to live her truth. "She's having a bit of a glow up" says close friend, Stacey. "I just hope people get to know her...

Kerry Stokes Tells Seven To Make Show That Improves Public Image Of Army Unit He’s Obsessed With

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Special Air Service is under attack and one of the nation's most influential media moguls is coming to their defence. In recent years, the ABC and other unpatriotic news services have been reporting on the alleged misconduct of some members of Australia's most elite special forces army unit, the Special Air Service. Kerry Stokes has...

Melbourne Primary School Teacher’s Nervous Breakdown Times Perfectly With 2020 Book Week

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT From 'Where The Wild Things Are' to 'Clifford The Big Red Dog; - there was no shortage of animal-like dress-ups at Melbourne's South Gangitano Primary School today. With the theme of 'Curious Creatures, Wild Minds', 2020 Book Week was once again aimed at highlighting the importance of reading, in what's been a challenging year for students and teachers in...

God Offers Gerry Harvey No Deposit And 48 Months Interest Free On A New Brain

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact God has thrown retail mogul Gerry Harvey a lifeline today and offered him a new brain on terms he cannot afford to pass up. Mr Harvey, who over the past year or so has made headlines by doing and saying things that make him look foolish and old, was been offered no deposit and 48...

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