The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has today provided the nation with one of the strangest takes of the year. A week after his party labeled a female Governor General a diversity hire, despite females being over half the population - Dutton has drawn comparisons between peaceful protests in front of the Opera House and the Port Arthur Massacre. Speaking...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some sad news for emos and delinquents everywhere, it can be revealed that alternative retail store ‘Off Ya Tree’ may be shutting down for good. The shop, known for their cheap piercings, gothic clothing and bongs marketed as ‘water pourers’ and ‘cocktail shakers’, has been slowly closing down stores in the past few months, with a store in...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA precocious student has left his teacher feeling rather bemused this week, by making a political stance that was quite beyond his years. The student in question, seven year old Billy Hewitt, is alleged to have been tasked with some colouring in sheets for the afternoon ‘calm down session’, when his teacher, Ms. Henderson, observed his refusal to participate,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The brilliants minds behind Australia's favourite TV show have done it again, it can be confirmed this week. Famous for portraying every day life in the form of a family of dogs, the writers of Bluey have nailed yet another relatable episode of the hit show. Titled "Ghost Basket," the newly released episode follows the story of Bluey's...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local tradesman from our town's humble Flight Path District has shifted his hyper-masculinity into 5th gear today. Brad Short-King (29) has done so with the purchase of the brand new Ford F6969 - the biggest ute the country has ever seen. Following in the footsteps of oversized fuel guzzling icons like the F150 and the F450, the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australians around the country are reportedly complaining of a wet foot smell this morning, leaving the nation's peak meteorological body to explain why. The Bureau of Meteorology released a media alert this morning to reassure people that the smell is a normal part of the drying process for Sydney, which received over a hundred millimeters...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The man in charging of managing the public profile of the Brisbane Lions has today taken an extraordinary step. The media guy for the struggling AFL club has handed around a bunch of Yondr pouches to all players heading down to Adelaide for the weekend. Taking a leaf out of a local teacher's book, the media manager has...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTWith another big year for cane toads on the cards, Queensland, NT, WA and upper NSW are being asked to do their bit to slow the population growth of this invasive species, humanely of course.Nearly 100 years since the first 102 cane toads were brought to North Queensland and the certified pests have become somewhat of a cultural...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact From her apartment in the old Resch's Brewery in Redfern, Sydney's Lord Mayor Clover Moore has spent nearly twenty years staring out the window at a golf course across the street with pensive frustration. The area has seen rampant and unfettered development since 2000, bringing tens of thousands of new residents into an area of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT It's been a bittersweet morning for Birch Grove (28). The young software salesman has been forced to change the trip of a year, after a rather unexpected couple of weeks. Birch explained to The Advocate that he's been on the phone to Qantas all morning trying to re-arrange his flights to Europe. Set to embark on his annual...