The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the Prime Minister's key advisors has been asked to wait outside Parliament House's situation room this afternoon after suggesting thermonuclear weapons should be used to end the ongoing trade war with China. Scott Cam, who's thought to be the chief architect of the HomeBuilder Scheme, was thanked for his input during the meeting...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The New South Wales Police Minister has said something he probably shouldn't have again today, prompting his boss to contemplate life and why people even bother doing things. David Elliott spoke to the media this morning, calling protesters of Indigenous treatment 'certifiably insane' amid the current pandemic were are in. Many of Mr Elliott's colleagues have...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact In some more confusing news to come out of Betoota this morning a local woman was snubbed in real life earlier today by an Instagram follower who watches every single one of her stories without fail. Isabella Brighton (25) says she was walking along Elm Street in the French Quarter when she locked...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact With Australian schools closed due to coronavirus, even online schools are taking safety measures, with the popular School of Hard Knocks having followed suit and ordered it’s students to continue to stay home, or break into other people’s homes if they are nicer. School of Hard Knocks, established in late 2006 immediately after...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact This old bastard that works up at the Woolworths Metro in the Old City keeps telling punters that he used to fly a Boeing for Diamantina Air Freight before all this shit kicked off. COVID-19 did him out of the job, reckons David Deerman and his old employer all back blackballed him into taking a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT PE teachers around Australia are today asking why it wasn't brought to their attention earlier that they are allowed to body slam teenage boys for talking shit. This comes after NSW Police Commissioner Mick Fuller attempted to provide context to the behaviour of an officer filmed throwing an Koori teenager to the ground during an arrest in Sydney...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Malcolm Turnbull told The Advocate today that wife Lucy had 'damn near twisted his arm off' about getting the boathouse redone and thanks to Scott Morrison's new HomeBuilder scheme, it seems he's run out of excuses. "Thanks a lot, ScoMo," laughed Turnbull. The former Prime Minister joined as for an amicable chat that went just a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has received the double thumbs up from the young blokes of his Sydney electorate today after announcing a key economic stimulus package aimed at tradies and homeowners. While the construction industry was already trucking along fine, Scott Morrison confirmed speculation that his government would be providing $25 000 grants to homeowners who...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The NSW Premier lightly headbutted her office wall this afternoon after the state's police force has yet again been caught doing something illegal. "I mean, why do I even bother," she said seconds before butting the sandstone. "Like, 'Oh, here you go Micko. He's a nice big pay rise. I'm probably going to get a truckload...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of our town's most prolific copper thieves is 'proud as punch' today after seeing an NBN road crew in the French Quarter putting some of the wire he stole to good use. David John Schumacker, who is known to police, told our reporters that it's nice to know you're contributing in a positive way...