The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some news that has shaken the nation to its very core, a report has emerged that some multinational bookmakers might be a bit dodgy. Those revelations came to light last night in 7:30 report which detailed the activity of giant English bookmaker Bet365. Thanks to a brave whistleblower who will probably now be dragged through the courts...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Bureau of Meteorology said heavy smoke billowing from bushfires surrounding Sydney will linger in the city basin until Saturday, and probably longer if the catastrophic blazes on the metropolis outskirts cannot be contained. The current air quality in Sydney is now as hazardous as the pokie room in the Bourbon and Beefsteak Hotel in the Roger Rogerson era. Hazardous...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Many people around the country have been calling for the resignation of Angus Taylor for months. Angus has been caught out doing bad things. Things that allegedly include hiding money in a tax haven, letting his staff doctor official documents to smear a political rival, making up things about a woman he allegedly went...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "How good are fireys!" he says to himself in the mirror. "No... nah I can do better" he mutters to himself. He tries again. "The Quietly battling Australians. Battling fires quietly..." "No. Not good enough" "Okay one more and then it's time for a Fat Yak" He takes a deep breath. This is when he does his best work. When he's cornered against...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local public servant who's already put his feet up for the year has been left with nothing to complain about. So, in the foodcourt of the Betoota Heights Hyperdome, he pulled out his phone and had a whinge over the bushfire smoke currently cloaking our cosmopolitan desert community. "This smoke is so fucked," he...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A heavily taped up tackle bag that has sat in an asbestos-riddled storage facility in a local junior rugby union club for 22 years isn't being replaced any time soon, it has been confirmed. This comes as Rugby Australia today agreed to settle out of court with the controversial fundamentalist Christian former Wallabies playmaker, Israel Folau. Folau's contract was terminated...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Rugby Australia reached a confidential settlement with wayward star Israel Folau yesterday, bringing an end to what has been the worst-managed saga in Australian sporting history. Instead of it costing the country's other football code almost nothing, the manner in which Rugby Australia's board managed the negotiation means it now is down a rumoured...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A man-boobed private schoolboy who at age 26, is still living in his parent's Betoota Grove six-bedder, has reaffirmed his commitment to the Liberal Party today by picking up a semi-tailored three-piece suit from a local tailor. After first making an appointment online six-weeks ago where he entered his own self-measured measurements into a form,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has announced northwest Tasmania's ageing hospital and healthcare facilities are going to be replaced by a state-of-the-art hospital. Scott Morrison made the announcement just hours after Senator for Tasmania, Jacqui Lambie, sided with the Coalition to repeal the controversial but ultimately humanitarian medevac law that saw offshore refugees be taken to the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact According to a local survey conducted earlier this week, The Nationals are a spent political force. By and large, their systematic neglect of our district's primary producers, small businesses and workers have left many voters wondering why in blue fuck they still vote for them. The Nationals, in recent years, have put the interests of...