The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A locally-popular breeding pair of Baby Boomers have broken their silence this morning after selling one of their investment properties at a loss over the weekend. John and Diana Williams-Creswell have worked hard to amass a large portfolio of properties around town. They've saved, begged and borrowed. The sexagenarians told The Advocate that they...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact To be systematically loathed by everyone from farmers to townsfolk to the green-left elite is an achievement in its own right. The Murray-Darling Basin Ministerial Council and their gross mismanagement of the economic and environmental systems within the Murray-Darling Basin were on display last night on Four Corners, the ABC's most popular witch hunt programme. It...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Marlboro's parent company, Altria, one of the planet’s largest cigarette makers, made a US$13b cash investment in JUUL late last year that has caused the vape maker to shift its tack somewhat this year. The e-cigarette maker, who grew from largely anti-tobacco beginnings, has since revived Marlboro's popular 'Marlboro Man' advertising campaign from the halcyon...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The increasingly cowboy operation of the National Broadband Network has today hit new heights in Betoota's French Quarter, as a 17-year-old begins jackhammering through the brick exterior of a 3-bedroom townhouse. Benji Biltong, Betoota Heights, says his mates who are still in school are jealous as. Because no one their age can dream of $2000 per week after tax. "Good...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "I'm allowed to have a black coffee and water," he said. "Nothing else." Dennis Park spent this morning walking our reporter through the leafless remains of Machattie Park in our town's bustling Old City District, where he explained 'intermittent fasting' or skipping breakfast as he describes it. It's the latest diet trend to reach the far-southwest, following...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT An altruistic and selfless local man has today taken it upon himself to help the struggling local economy. With various economic experts and politicians tip-toeing coming to terms with the word 'recession,' young Gus Wurker has decided to do his bit today to lift the state of affairs. Unselfishly finishing work a couple of hours early, the Commercial...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There was a time when Tim Greenberg would've laughed and turned his nose up at the idea of making his cat an Instagram account. That was the time before he met David Freshen. After a short courtship, they moved into their French Quarter apartment and joked about the day they'd get married. However, while they...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Night time revellers across the state of NSW have received some pleasing news today. That news comes in the form of all variations of lockout laws, particularly the draconian ones in the harbour hell hole of Sydney, being dropped after the Jim Beam distillery in Kentucky burnt down overnight. The tragic incident has saddened the people who like...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT There are growing concerns for the cognitive skills of a dim-witted teenage son of long-suffering graziers in the New South Wales irrigation belt today. This comes as the young man begins questioning the commonly-held perception that the drought in North-West NSW is completely over, as confirmed by the National Party and Australian media. At 13 years of age, Buddy Kennedy...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The ALP has hit back at claims this afternoon they're not doing actually doing anything to oppose the near-sighted and regressive policies that the Coalition is attempting to put forward. In an impassioned speech to the media this morning in a very cold Canberra, Labor leader Anthony Albanese said that the ALP is on track...