The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Bank Of Mum & Dad announced this afternoon that they will be passing on the full interest rate decrease to their client offspring so they can still enjoy a well-earned break later this year. While it was almost a given that the Reserve Bank was going to lower interest rates, Treasurer Josh Frydenberg said...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 24-hour gyms around Australia and the world have been humbled this week, following a large spike in big beautiful boys who have realised they are perfect just the way they are. This comes as world boxing was rocked by Britain’s Anthony Joshuabeing put on his arse by America's Andy Ruiz Jnr in front of a packed crowd at Madison...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A pub in our town's closest capital city has dusted off their smallest television in the least trafficked part of their establishment today in anticipation for the State of Origin. Douglas Pooley, the publican at the Free-Settler Autofellatio Inn in Adelaide's leafy inner city, said that he tries to accomodate ex-pats from other state's on...

EXCLUSIVE | VIDEO LEAK | CONTACT Origin coaches from both sides of the Tweed have denied any of their current players’ involvement in a new leaked sex tape on the eve of State of Origin I. An explosive report in the Sydney Morning Herald claims the sex tape was leaked in an attempt to “sabotage” the result of Wednesday night's match, and allegedly involves a prominent Origin player...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local man currently on his 45th trip around the sun has told reporters this afternoon that his card was declined at the supermarket a short time ago. Dale Penk, a city worker who used to commute two hours each way to work in a windowless office for a company that doesn't value him at...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Our town's upper-middle-class white men will now have to show a local car dealer their anus if they want to go through with a purchase of a BMW, to make sure the arsehole is big enough to warrant buying one. Rex LeMarc of Betoota Grove BMW told The Advocate this afternoon that he only wants...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact New WBA/WBO/IBF heavyweight champion of the world, Andy Ruiz Jr, has won one for the big mans, husky gents, portly men and bigfellas of the world over the weekend in Madison Square Garden as the happy-go-lucky Mexican knocked out defending champion Anthony Joshua in the seventh round. The 29 year-old, who identifies as a 'gran...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact If you thought the escape in Shawshank Redemption prison was hard, you obviously haven’t tried to cancel your free trial at Foxtel. This is the agonising reality being faced by thousands of Australian Game of Thrones fans who signed up to Foxtel’s 30-day free trial in order to watch the last season of the critically acclaimed TV series. The...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The CSIRO's inaugural GUTARAP report, prepared collaboratively with  a range of industry stakeholders, updates estimates of the lad rap scene and consumer polling has found that Campbelltown rapper EMCEE Kerser to be the sickest. CSIRO Chief Sickness Economist and report lead author Matty Strut said GUTARAP 2019 was an essential annual benchmark to guide strategic decision making, given tours...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Popular Chinese car maker, Great Wall, has set another ute loose on our nation's roads this month after it received a paltry two-star ANCAP safety rating. That puts the Great Wall Steed, known locally as the Beijing billycart, into the same category as the controversial Lime Scooters that have cracked skull after skull...