The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Grove primary school has been caught selling gourmet sausages wrapped in a bun this morning, telling voters that they're democracy sausages. Local man Brendan Green contacted The Advocate after he voted earlier today at the Lake Betoota Public School to say he was let down and shocked by the experience. The 25-year-old lives...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Looking to topple our town's current representative in Canberra this morning, a little known independent candidate told The Advocate that the incumbent David Littleproud should be nervous today. Oscar Wheeler is remaining optimistic about the result, despite not campaigning at all. Our reporter caught up with him this morning in the backyard of his Betoota Heights...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Nazareth-native Jesus H. Christ has told journalists this afternoon via a religious medium that his father, Jehovah H. God, had a plan for Israel Folau and what happened this afternoon is all part of it. Speaking in tongues and rolling around on the pavement outside Rugby Australia's HQ in Sydney, the medium spoke in a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Member for New England has told reporters in Armidale this afternoon that his fate is in God's hands now after wrapping up his re-election campaign this afternoon in the New South Boomerstan high country. And by wrapping up, Barnaby Joyce means he's heading to the pub. "Yeah not much I can do now, is...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man who doesn't really follow politics says he'll probably vote for Labor this election because he thought Bob Hawke was a legend. A legend, Conor Bradley says, because of all the nice things he gave this country and the unsurpassed legacy he leaves generations to come. "I've voted for the Coalition in...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia has a toxic relationship with the grog, which means even the most mundane of events can be tarted up with the addition of alcohol and a few choice rules regarding it's consumption. A national favourite being Election Night drinking games where buzzwords, results and other triggers mean you and your friends are forced to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Police say a lifeless body found outside the New South Boomerstan Parliament this after is that of Andrew Constance, the state's transport minister. The Supreme Premier of New South Boomerstan, Her Excellence Gladys Berijikilan, told media this afternoon via a short statement that Mr Constance was 'executed' for a number of crimes against the state,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Independent senate candidate Jacqui Lambie has come out strong with some big promises just days before Tasmania joins the rest of the country at the polls. 18 months after having to resign from the Federal Senate due to her never-before-considered dual-citizenship status, Lambie is back and more Australian than ever. Tasmania has six sitting senators up for election: three from...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The ScoMo has lashed out at himself, and Labor this afternoon after visiting a local private school that has four demountable classrooms on what used to be the tennis centre. The Prime Minister visited our cosmopolitan desert republic today as a part of his whirlwind tour of the nation's private schools to see first-hand...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The first messages of the morning weren't about the New South Wales Origin selections, it was about something far more serious and much less pathetic. They were about security. Marcus Delroy's shattered iPhone pinged to life this morning on his bedside table with the defacto leader of his WhatsApp group instructing all to update their app. "We've...