The Nation

Barossa Hens Party Activities Based Solely Around Getting The Right Shot In The Vineyards

INGRID DOULTON | Culture| Contact A savvy Maid of Honour named Bridget Elkic is today receiving accolades for the way she planned her friend's Hens day/night this week. The group made up of friends scattered between Betoota Heights, Brisbane and the Gold Coast initially were a little sceptical of having to head down towards the Free Settlement of Adelaide for a big weekend...

Nation’s Dirt Bikes Vow To Boycott Qantas Chairman’s Lounge In Solidarity With Fraser Anning

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact QANTAS, the country's most well-regarded airline has suffered a direct hit this morning after they announced they were banning Senator Fraser Anning from their Chairman's Lounge. Following the former One Nation Senator's appalling comments in the wake of the Christchurch attacks, the airline decided to revoke Fraser Anning's access to the prestigious lounge, a move which has sent...

Internet Activist’s Mission To Free Feedlot Animals Thwarted By Tricky Gate Latch

JEN OVERELL | Local News | Contact Three people were arrested last night at the O'Malley Brothers Feedlot on the Betoota City Limits after police and landowners caught them attempting to free livestock from the facility. Dale Pegmen (21), Sarah Porce-Jones (23) and Kevin Cockbrow (32) fronted Betoota Local Court this morning where they were each charged with a string...

Boomers Visit Great Barrier Reef One Last Time Before Their Generation Finally Kills It

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "We didn't know we were killing the planet," they said. "So it's not our fault. Believe us, we feel really bad about what we've done to Earth but in reality, it's not really our problem, is it?" Graham and Butter Reece, an ageing Betoota Grove couple, have recently return home to our cosmopolitan desert community after...

Christmas Island Closes To Win Votes Just Weeks After It Was Re-Opened To Win Votes

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Christmas Island Detention Centre that was reopened in February in an effort to retain conservative voters is now set to be closed in an effort to win over fiscally-conservative but socially-liberal voters. The detention facility was Frankenstiened back to life at cost of around $180 million to the taxpayer amid fears the passing of...

Ant-Hating Disabled Man Happy To Forgo New Wheelchair If It Means More Ants Will Die

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A disabled local man in urgent need of a new wheelchair has sided with the Coalition government this morning saying he too would rather kill ants than received a new wheelchair. The National Disability Scheme (NDIS) is $1.6 billion worse of under this budget and some of that money could've gone to provided Glenn Washbrook...

Frydenberg: “Every Australian Is A Winner Tonight – Even The Losers”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Treasurer Josh Frydenberg delivered his first budget in Canberra this evening and every Australian will be better off under it. That fact heralds a departure from traditional Federal Budgets which need at least one group of people in the community to be worse off in order for some to be better off. Also, for the first...

Man Who Became Upper-Middle-Class In The Past Year Enjoys First Budget That Won’t Affect Him

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Last April, Mark Sock was breaking shit up and throwing it into a skip bin. He was studying part time, drinking full time and generally treading water in this disgusting, vile pond that we all call life. This April, the 31-year-old is far from that. He's now on a salary that puts him well into the...

Recent Divorcee Re-Enters Local Meat Market With Purchase Of White Jeans

INGRID DOULTON | Being Divorced | Contact A Betoota Grove quinquagenarian who's recently found herself single again has heralded her return to the local dating scene with the purchase of a pair of white jeans from her local Rockman's shop. After twenty-two-years of marriage and two children, Jennifer Stocktrot woke up one morning and decided she'd had enough of her husband,...

Small Town Divided Over What Should Replace Closing Big W Store

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Betoota Heights Big W store has been earmarked for closure this week as the fat-cats at Woolworths look to cut losses at the expense of local jobs. While sad, the discourse on the many online community discussion groups in town have now turned to what might replace the discount department store - and not...

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