The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Analysts from Betoota's favourite online betting company, CuckBet, have released odds this morning that point to the fact that the Sydney Roosters are set to have this season's premiership stripped them once their cooked books start to cool over the next few years. Many in the NRL have conceded that this season is 'basically a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Chief Boomer Appeaser of New South Boomerstan (NSB) has entered high-level talks with a number of property developers this morning in an effort to deal with the student climate strike set to happen in Sydney, the nation's worst place, tomorrow afternoon. The move comes after her election opponent, Michael Daley, said it was OK...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A naive local Staffordshire Bull Terrier owner has lied to himself, the wider public and to his own pet this afternoon by claiming that his dog wouldn't hurt a fly. Murray Steenson, who shot to local fame two years ago for mailing a crude pipebomb to Mayor Keith Carton's electoral office, told The Advocate this...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Nationals MP George Christensen has lashed out across the party room this afternoon, branding his colleagues who don't have a set of truck nuts dangling from their car 'latte inner-city Liberals'. The extraordinary attack comes after nobody else in his party seems to understand that the Member for Dawson was elected on a strong pro-truck...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Member for New England, Barnabus Decimus Meridius Joyce, has effectively ended the internal coal war plaguing The Nationals in recent weeks amid news that an online petition is calling for him to do so. The dogmatic Aries spoke briefly to journalists as he enjoyed a Golden Gaytime out the front of a Yamba newsagency,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Why the hell do we need to pay someone to get married in a shed?" "I've got like ten of them out on the farm we could use! It just boggles the mind. No wonder young people don't have any money." It makes sense - but Mark Donald just doesn't get it. What 'it' is, he'll probably...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Though he means well, a door-knocking campaigner from the Channel Country Chamber Of Commerce Party (CCCCP) has been assured one local man will put them last at the upcoming local government elections this month after interrupting the man's dinner. French Quarter resident, Spencer Reedy, a devotee to the CCCCP since before it became a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT New statistics released by ICAC (Italians Catholics Against Confrontation) has found that Australia's Southern European diaspora have accidentally named most of their daughters Bianca. 90% to be exact. This research was conducted in partnership with New Farm TAFE, and is a secondary finding from a study aimed at explaining why the name 'Frank' is no longer as popular...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local influencer Kylie Kidman (24) has today let her heavily invested followers in a little secret. That extra shine she gets on her lips is from a special lip gloss made by Bedourie Beauty And Co, for all of you who were asking. This is welcome news for the 7500 people who follower the Betoota-based bikini model and fitness...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local motorist sat on his horn for 60 seconds this afternoon as fellow motorists found themselves stuck in the middle of an intersection when the lights changed. Rather than accept that he's been mildly inconvenienced for a few seconds, Deverell Slacks, a Tarocash robot who does something on a computer every day in exchange...