The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The failed census of yesteryear recorded just one male named Jade in our bustling inland metropolis - and he is over gender neutral politics! It doesn't affect him but it still irks him somewhat that the majority has once again had to made concessions for a minority. Specifically, the 29-year-old convicted arsonist has taken offence to...

INGRID DOULTON | Television | Contact Forced yet again to give up the remote come 7:30pm, a local father has sat through Married At First Sight for the umpteenth time this year. Speaking candidly and cautiously to The Advocate this afternoon through the fence of his Betoota Heights display home's garden, Wal Beattie said he wants to know where 'they' find 'those'...

EExcerpt from Senator Derryn Hinch's interview with ERROL PARKER in The Advocate's weekend liftout, In The Lignum. When Derryn Hinch sat down with a preference whisperer back in 2014, he had a dream. That dream was to start his own crime fighting organisation, which was later realised after being elected to the Federal Red Room on his eponymous Justice Party ticket....

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact When Dale Poink goes for a flick off the Williams Avenue Wharf in Betoota Grove, anything that takes the bait is a dead fish swimming. Early this morning, our reporter observed the 41-year-old unhook a baby snapper the size of a DVD and throw it in a his bucket. Odd, The Advocate thought, but he...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Oh for Christ's sake!" "What in blue Jesus is that mark on my forehead? Why the hell didn't anybody tell me? Is this why people were staring at me in the food court?" "Fuck!" Walking to his car in a French Quarter back lane this morning, Mark Callander noticed a soccer ball wedged under the front axle...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just four weeks into the school term, a Betoota Grove teacher has expressed the need for a holiday - and she needs it now. With the carrot of a two-week break over Easter the only thing keeping her going, Mrs Melissa Gowings, a Year 3 teacher at Beach Avenue Public School, said it's been...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The sights and sounds of Betoota Old and New Art (BONA) have failed to impress a local arts student today, with the spritely youngster labelling the gallery's content as being 'mostly derivative shit.' With O-Week still working itself out of his pores, Alastair Lovell went on the attack this afternoon shortly after arriving back from...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Chris Bowen, a person is currently the Shadow Treasurer of Australia at the moment, has accepted responsibility for the crushing recession this nation will enjoy from June this year. Speaking to journalists this afternoon outside his electoral offices in Sydney's wild midwest, Bowen said he's putting his hand up and preparing himself to cop it...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The New South Wales government has backed calls for the once iconic nightlife strip Kings Cross to instead be referred to as "Cowards Cross. It comes after nearby baby boomer residents released a statement expressing gratitude for the support of doctors, police and the general public for their help in dealing with the youth that frequent the area. "The term...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A senior editorial staff member at The Betoota Bugle has revealed to The Advocate this week that even they are surprised with how quickly Fairfax Media has gone down the shitter in the wake of their merger with Nine Entertainment Co. The online-only Bugle was founded in 2009 in an ill-fated attempt to muscle in...