The Nation

Cowboys Begin Pre-Season With Big Focus On Aqua Aerobics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It may only be February, but the North Queensland Toyota Cowboys' preparations for the 2019 season are already underway, with the club kicking off-preseason training this morning - with a splash! John Asiata, Scott Bolton, Te Maire Martin and Coen Hess were seen running high-knees drills in the waterlogged back ovals behind 1300 Smile Stadium - while Taumalolo and...

Liberals Consider Bringing Back The Fishnets To Woo Errant Lady Voters

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Kevin has a great set of pins on him and I've heard he's into some pretty heavy shit. Like real plastic bedsheet type stuff. I'm not out to kink-shame him but it's pretty full-on," he said. "We'd hardly put me or Tony in them. Josh said no, too. I'm the boss so there's no way...

New Farm Yuppie Finds Herself Rich And Bored Enough To Complain About Lime Scooters

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An inner-Brisbane stay-at-home mother of two school-aged Aryan princesses has today urged her husband to talk to one of those councillors he always takes on golf trip to the Gold Coast. Not about the upcoming residential high-rise development he's trying to get up out the back of Buranda, or about how noisy the CityCats are during peak hour. This time...

Liam Neeson Rumoured To Have Signed On As Lead In Upcoming Action Thriller Biopic ‘The Cosh’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Northern Irish silverfox heart throb, Liam Neeson, is set to star in new action thriller vaguely based on the story he regretfully told a journalist like 24 hours ago. The 66-year-old actor - who saw his career rebooted in 2008 by action franchise 'Taken' - has signed up to the lead titular role in the action movie biopic. The film...

Today Becomes Cheat Day As Party Food Platter Greets Local Man At Office Farewell

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact He told our reporters that he wanted to start going to the gym in January - but he didn't want to seem like just another New Years Resolutioner. So, this week, Glenn Beak-Ross decided to head to his local family-run gym to sign up. Luckily for the 34-year-old corporate robot, there was an 8-week challenge...

Impulsive Purchase Of Sleeper Van Fails To Mend Broken Heart

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Keeley Benson's cool new plan of buying a van and maybe driving it around Australia has today proven to not be enough of a rebrand for her to get over the fact that Bradley cut things off midway through the proposed 18-month long distance thing they were trying out. The 31-year-old medical technology saleswoman disappointed friends with this new...

Fisherman Can’t Decide Which Lure To Buy After Slipping Down To Pick Up Some Leader

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The kingfish are biting in Lake Betoota at the moment and one local fisherman doesn't want to be caught unprepared. While Marcus Fresno says he'd be a fool not to head out to the drop-off without a live tank teeming with baitfish, he told our reporter this afternoon that there's still a few soft and...

Clive Palmer Concedes Defeat Against IKEA Dining Chair

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A confused and lost Clive Palmer took to social media today to concede defeat against a tricky IKEA dining chair, saying it was an even contest but the Swedish piece was simply too powerful in the end. But the barrel-chested Aries has said he's not finished with the snooty chair, with the 64-year-old Victorian...

21 Savage Arrested By Immigration Officials After Tweeting About The Ashes

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Rapper and producer 21 Savage was arrest yesterday in Atlanta over claims he was born in the United Kingdom and emigrated to the United States as a teenager, according to local media outlets. Savage, born Shéyaa Bin Abraham-Joseph, first came to the attention of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) after the 26-year-old tweeted...

Young Liberal Writes Off Another Afternoon Browsing The Tie Bars At David Jones

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A 24-year-old local finance worker took lunch today at 1pm and he hasn't been back to the office yet. Not because he didn't want to, he says, but because he got distracted. Alasdair-John Taylor often cuts through the Old City District David Jones when he lunches at the nearby Guzman y Gomez because of the air-conditioning...

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