The Nation

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A lot of choices have to be made in life for us to end up where we are right now, and one South Betoota man is wondering what kind he made to end up where he is. Rhylie Sanders sits on the sideline of the Blundstone Arena, his head swimming with questions as tears roll down his face....

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Brad and Judy Lanetti awoke to quite a pleasant surprise this morning when they discovered that their new neighbours are a group of bakers, or something. It was Judy who suggested this after recognising the whipped cream canisters peppering the lawn, as before retiring Judy too was a baker. After a heavy night of partying and thumping music coming...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local IT technician, who no one would be sending flowers to, has today asked a florist in his office if the bouquet she was delivering was for him. It’s believed that after swallowing the bile that rose in her throat out of disgust, the delivery woman laughed awkwardly and told the creep that no, sorry, they were...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact An unlikely bond has formed between a mother of 3 and a local cocaine and ecstasy dealer this afternoon at a mutual friend’s barbecue. It’s believed the pair’s conversation got off to a slow start, neither person seeing anything on a surface level that could foreshadow enjoyable conversation. That was until the mum saw a flash of the...

JAMIE HOTTAKE | Correct Opinion | Contact My mum always used to say to me, “Son, opinions are like assholes; if someone ever tries to touch yours, kick, scream, run and tell me right away.” Now at the time, I didn't think much of it, but it turned out my mum had a point; don’t let any person or priest anywhere near your God...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT While the nation awaits the impending federal election with the enthusiasm usually reserved for an emerging kidney stone, The Greens have taken some early initiative and begun handing out “Eeny Meeny Miny Mo” How To Vote cards. In a political landscape where individuals seem more divided than ever on social issues, The Greens have adapted that model into...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Bass player Don Di Bias (33) conducted a soul-crushing experiment during a performance with his ska band Es-Ska-Go when he stopped playing just to see if anyone would notice, or care. Gearing up for a performance where 3,000 were invited and 12 replied saying the were 'interested,' Di Bias wanted to test how much the audience appreciated...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With the number of bathroom mirror selfies and preventable ecstasy overdoses stacking up, it is clear festival season is well and truly humming in Australia. This trend has lead research scientists at the CSIRO to release findings that it is physically impossible for anyone to attend a festival without first taking a selfie in the bathroom mirror...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Opposition leader Bill Shorten has had an egg on his face moment this weekend after discovering he had been driving with his indicator on for the past 11 years. This comes after Shorten’s notorious 'Bill Bus' wound up its trip around Queensland to prove Prime Minister Scott Morrison isn't the only one who can travel around the state...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT New studies show that a perfect connection between the bare palms of two eager pub patrons is the most clear indicator that it's been a while between drinks - and that this one might go all night. This follows a recent report by the Association of Various Assortment Of Stage, Sound, Catering, Hospitality United Network Of Australia (AVASSCHUNA) has...