The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A legendary local man has today done a burnout after being asked. In what is often viewed as a bit of a treat in small towns and suburban outskirts around the country, local community man Eric (31) didn't even hesitate to drop it, when a bunch of local townie kids yelled at him from the school bus. As the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Morrison's Coalition government are reportedly in damage control this morning, after an announcement from the pokie room of a prominent gaming venue north of Brisbane appears to throw their three-year plan into chaos. Peter Dutton, the Minister for Home Affairs and member for Dickson who is solely responsible for disposing of the previous, elected, Prime Minister in his...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A loveable fuck up and a large huntsman spider have agreed to coexist in his Betoota Heights Hotondo monstrosity today, where the spider will eat mosquitos and the man will not smoosh the spider with a broom. Conor Felspar, who works in sales for some company in town, said he felt compelled to kill the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A long held theory in the sports world has been confirmed today. The theory, scientifically dubbed the 'Drake Curse,' is that whoever the Canadian Rapper publicly supports is cursed with failure in the sporting arena. Similar to the Kardashian Curse in sporting terms, Drake has been held responsible for the failures of sporting teams like Kentucky Basketball,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the debate surrounding the legalisation of harm-reduction methods such as pill-testing at music festivals continues to gather momentum, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today put his hand up and admitted to having never done 'illegal' drugs. Morrison joins his fellow state equivalent caretaker, NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian, as one of the many unelected Liberal leaders who have only...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local small business owner in the Betoota's Old City District has drawn the ire of a number of locals this morning after chalking up a new sign. The ageing father of three name Peter Alexei did so a couple of hours ago by deciding to grace his little cafe on Sir Joh Avenue with a hilarious new...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite getting 240 points over the weekend, a far south-west grazier has told The Advocate that he could probably do with a little bit more. Our reporter spoke to Darcy Tuxworth, who took time out of his busy afternoon of looking at full dams and ringing his neighbours to explain that while he's grateful for...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As both Netflix and Hulu release two rivalling documentaries about the failed 'Fyre Island' festival at the same time, the President's closest Secret Service officers have finally been able to identify where Donald Trump's sons have been for the last year and a half. Currently unpaid government intelligence agents have confirmed today that they identified both Eric and...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Concentrate Tino!" "Just hit it gently this time. No! No! No! We're smalls!" A gaggle of juvenile delinquent wrecks somehow managed to pool together $3 between them over the weekend to slot into the pool table down the Betoota Dolphins Leagues Club. Tino Larson, Brett Syphon, Oliver Goink and Louise Ansett were pissed as hell by...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Proving once again to be a true representative of the people, Senator Pauline Hanson has accidentally locked herself in her car in a sun-exposed spot at Indooroopilly Shopping Centre but has denied she is in any danger, regardless of how hot it looks inside the car. After completing her shopping at Hairhouse Warehouse, Senator...