The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact In what has been described as the greatest example of neutralising humankind's impact on the environment, Greens leader Richard Di Natale has today unveiled a plan to make use of the plastic pollution in order to harvest energy from the sun. "We've been working in partnership with Green Peace" said Senator Di Natale. "Mainly because they've got the boats." "But...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A select group of Cairns tourism operators have been praised for their innovation by the Turnbull government today, after it was revealed that certain businesses up north have begun repositioning their services to focus on the death of marine sea-life. They will be known as the Great Barrier Reef Ghost Tours, in an effort to savour the 56...

LOUIS BOURKE | Editor | Contact Knock-off drinks took a wild turn for a group of construction workers as half-cut site manager Mike ‘Derry’ Derringer (54) whipped his false teeth out for a laugh. Members of the group are alleged to have seen Derry pull this trick before but still managed genuine shock and laughter as he flicked his two front teeth in and out...

LOUIS BOURKE | Editor | Contact The fear of God has been put into film school student Tony McGuire (22) who has deleted all his controversial tweets, just in case the unthinkable happens and he becomes a famous director. According to McGuire, in the rare event he makes a living as a Hollywood director, he is concerned that his previous tweets could prove too controversial...

ANTHONY GOLT | Opinion | Contact If you haven't already heard by now, Melbourne is in a state of emergency. From the trendy inner-city suburbs that you saw on Underbelly, to the shitty ones that you saw on Kath and Kim, residents are afraid to go out to visit restaurants for fear of being assaulted or looked at by African teenagers. And much like...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact One of the coolest people on the Gold Coast has pioneered a trendy new hairstyle. Local bar-owner Wyatt Shubrigade (36) has come a long way since his Stafford Brothers-style straightened-side-bangs, and is now rocking the 'back knot'. Paired with a well-manicured beard, Wyatt finally has a distraction for all the women who can't help but stare at his over-the-top pectoral muscles...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Editor | Contact A local Brisbane man has bamboozled a mate today after suggesting that Aussie Rules has actually been played professionally for a while now. Hutchies Construction Manager, Clint Garbrandt, who never made it up through the grades in junior footy shocked a couple of friends with his comments last night. Finishing a brief phone break from the conversation, Garbrandt decided to...

LEEROY PERCIVAL | Local News | Contact A local mum has this week begun voicing her curious observations after her first visit to a hospital in a while. As a close relative recovers in Betoota’s Lord Tuqiri Private Hospital, Jan Sanders, from Betoota Heights, has included in every conversation she’s had this week, that she really likes the increase in gender diversity within the nursing...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local baker assistant, Kiki Paterson (23) has today clarified that, no, she does not love you. Kiki says ever since Drake's new album came out, her cute childhood nickname, which is a variation of her given name Nakita, holds very little sentimental value. "In My Feelings" is a song by Canadian musician Drake from his fifth studio album Scorpion (2018). It became a rhythmic and contemporary...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The incredibly popular Australian true crime podcast Teacher's Pet has confirmed that twins, particularly identical twins, are creepy. The investigative series follows the unsolved disappearance of mum-of-two Lyn Dawson, who went missing in 1982, with a lot of accusations swirling around her husband Chris Dawson, who was a creep and also had a creepy brother. Because twins are creepy. While...