The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Apart from when he played a troubled but kind-hearted cop in Animal Kingdom, prominent Australia actor Anthony Hayes has today returned to his forte of playing a very unlikable but pivotal character in a new TV series. Hayes has been cast as an interesting day-player who seems good on the surface, but actually turns out to be a jaded...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local men's rights activist, Keenan Fogle (21) says that the feminists blaming men for the things men do to women in this country are not taking into account the things he hasn't done to women. The involuntarily celibate call-centre employer says he's an expert on many different topics. Number one, fountain pens. Two, hair gel. Three, snooker and other...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local office drone has shown him self to be a rock music purist today by leaving a cheeky comment on Triple J’s Facebook page. The bong-warrior sales consultant at a mid-sized firm in Betoota’s CBD took a moment to show his disdain for some of the music coming out over the last few years. The Frenzal Rhomb fan who...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Liberal Party council has met members from the ABC Board this morning at either end of a foggy bridge in Sydney to trade their defacto leader Tony Jones for their future existence. Earlier this week, the Liberal Party's engine room voted to make privatising the public broadcaster part of their policy moving forward. That news was not received well...

RICK MOSS | Resolutions | CONTACT In the days since a tragic incident in Melbourne sparked a national debate over the safety of women in our country, police and government officials around the country have announced immediate action plans for protecting their testosterone-impaired citizens. Following their comments urging women to take responsibility of their own safety in suburbs with median house prices of 1.2...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Optus CEO Allen Lew has assured FIFA World Cup fans that everything should be sweet, after he unplugged the network modem himself, and blew air into the outlet before reinserting the cord. This comes as Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has been assured by the chief executive of Optus that the telco giant’s streaming issues of the World Cup will be...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local woman has today put her life at risk by taking part in one of the main forms of locomotion among legged mammals. While deciding how to best get between point A and point B, local woman Gloria Innes (27) irresponsibly assumed that she would be able to walk less than a kilometre in her leafy home suburb without running...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Countless coverage outages, terrible data plans and even worse broadband – a trifecta of terrible business attributes that would cause any company to change their tact. Unless you’re Telstra, this is just another day in the office for the telecommunications giant. “We’d actually be worried if everything ran smoothly” said Gerdt Vincent, head of Telstra. “We’ve employed over 1000...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Soccer fan George La Polosovicski (32) is “beyond pumped” to see the Socceroos perform in the world cup and currently only has tentative plans to start going for his grandparent's home country when the Socceroos return to Australia in a week. Having been a soccer fan his entire life, La Polosovicski states that he takes the sport very...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bloke called Clint has confirmed to colleagues today that he is going to be spending this weekend up on the Sunshine Coast. It's almost as if anyone really gave a fuck about what the chilled out logistics assistant was doing this weekend, as the 29-year-old took the time to tell a number of colleagues that he is:...