World News

Left-Wing Fake News Intentionally Misreport US COVID Death Toll As 200,000 Instead Of 196,993

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT President Donald Trump has accused the 'left-wing fake news media' of exaggerating the US COVID-19 death toll to undermine his chances of re-election. His comments follow months of failing to properly implement any form of consistent pandemic lock down across all states, despite warnings from medical experts that measures such as closing businesses and social distancing are key to...

President Trump Nominates Meat Loaf As Supreme Court Judge To Replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT US President Donald Trump has caused quite a stir today, after revealing he has already put forward a nomination for the next Justice of the Supreme Court. Speaking this morning Australian time, the President announced that he had formally nominated Meat Loaf to fill the void left by Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The passing of the pioneering judge had...

Mate ‘Stranded Overseas’ Looks Like She’s Having A Better Time Than 95% Of Australia

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the global pandemic rolls on, up to 25,000 Australians are still reportedly trapped overseas, with no clear path to return home. Since international borders shut in March, thousands of Australians have understandably been unable to return home, prompting calls for the nation to up it's quarantining capacity before Christmas. With that causing a bit of attempted political...

Barnaby Joyce Also Blames The Australian Greens For Record-Breaking Wildfires In California

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The scenes of wildfire devastation and apocalyptic smoke coming out of America may appear familiar to Australians, many of whom are still recovering for the 'Black Summer' bushfires that destroyed close to ten percent of the bushland across the nation's eastern seaboard through December and January. American firefighters are currently overwhelmed by a furious climate-change aided wildfire season, with...

Year 4 Students Boycott Philosopher’s Stone After Learning J.K Rowling Got Cancelled On Twitter

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT British author JK Rowling has been dealt a devastating blow today, after the world's Year 4 students revealed they are boycotting her Harry Potter series. The surprising move comes as #RIPJKRowling trends on Twitter, with various twitter accounts declaring Rowling's career dead, apparently. The latest controversy surrounding the author who got a generation of children to read in...

Public Shocked As Celebrities Give Baby Stupid Name

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Planet Earth has been left spinning dizzily on it’s axis this week after it was revealed that a celebrity couple has decided to give their child a stupid name, eschewing normal celebrity protocol of bestowing upon their offspring a sensible, non-teasable, traditional name, like Clancy or Errol.   Ed Sheeran and wife Cherry Seaborn have named their daughter Lyra...

Californian Wildfires Remind Australians That The Blue Mountains Are Still So Fucked

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The dense wildfire smoke in the US state of California has made its way to the San Francisco area yesterday, causing the sky over the region to turn blood orange. Social media has been awash with emotive images showing the city looking like a Planet Mars, in the same way all of Australia did last year when our whole...

Dwayne Johnson’s Family Get Tested After Being Unable To Smell What The Rock Is Cooking

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Another celebrity has fallen victim to the pandemic that is the Covid-19. Speaking via social media this morning, Dwayne Johnson revealed that he and his family have all been battling the virus in recent days, but his wife and two young daughters are feeling better. The actor, producer, businessman, and one of the greatest to ever do it...

World Genuinely Impressed Silvio Berlusconi Managed To Avoid COVID For This Long

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has finally succombed to the Covid-19. After the incredible year the world and Italy has had, the loudmouth Italian figure has greeted the inevitable. Doing so with his trademark smile, the notorious politician and media mogul revealed today that he's contracted the coronavirus and will be isolating at home for 14 days....

US Police Struggling To Identify Link Between Civil Unrest And Them Killing Unarmed Black Men

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT American police are urging anyone with information surrounding why their country keeps descending into riots every couple months to immediately contact them. This comes as the Black Lives Matters demonstrations begin kick back up across the United States, three months after the police murder of George Floyd in Minnesota. Protesters have poured into the Wisconsin city of Kenosha after the...

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