World News

Woman’s Latest Wave Of Anxiety Either From 2nd Coffee Or Collapse Of Western Civilisation

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Betoota Heights resident Naomi Wells (24) is feeling a bit on edge today as she deals with an overwhelming sense that the meaningless suffering in the world she lives in is matched only by her own futility to influence positive change before she is inevitably dead and forgotten.  Seeking refuge in a prized indoor seat...

“Stealing From Your Own Communities Is Not The Solution,” Says Politician

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact In USA cities such as Minneapolis and New York, some peaceful protests as part of the Black Lives Matter movement have turned to riots and looting in response to the rubber bullet fuelled American-style of crowd control. These images have not only prompted many to show their support for the movement but have encouraged brave...

Anti-Fascist Punk Takes Break From Smoking Bongs In Grandma’s Basement To Mastermind Race Riot

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ohio-based ANTIFA member, Marshall Kent (24), says he was never really that political in college. That was until he saw Hillary Clinton undermine Bernie Sanders chance of winning the Democratic presidential nomination, in turn handballing the White House to a white supremacist. After that, he started going to protests. Some of them were violent, but he always knew...

COVID-19 Decides To Go Easy On America Because Of All Their Civil Unrest

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The deadly Coronavirus that is currently killing hundreds of thousands of people around the world has today released a statement announcing plans to cut America a bit of slack, because they've got enough going on right now. This comes as a great relief to the protestors and police currently marching the streets in response to the extreme civil...

Opponents Of Political Correctness Now Rather Vocal Advocates For It After A Couple Car Fires

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The political outsiders who have spent the last decade peddling fake news articles and voting for populist conservatives who don't pander to political correctness, are now starting to realise that maybe they enjoy living in a world where people go out of their way to not hurt each other. Complete civil disorder has reached boiling point and curfews...

Trump Clarifies The Direct Threat He Made About Shooting Protestors Was More A Vague Threat

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Donald Trump has today attempted to provide context to the extremely emotive language he used when threatening the lives of American citizens protesting the public murder of an unarmed black man by Minneapolis police. "When the looting starts, the shooting starts" Mr Trump tweeted, paying direct homage to a quote from Walter E. Headley, the former...

Unidentified Flying Objects Identified As UFOs In New Footage

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT The UFO community is abuzz today after the Pentagon reluctantly revealed the unidentified flying objects seen in footage declassified and released late last month are actually UFOs. The footage, shot by US Navy pilots in 2004 and 2015, shows small bright lights moving in an unconventional manner, to the surprise of the pilots. Although leaked and released to the public in 2017,...

Rioters Ruin Their Chances Of Working For $6 An Hour With No Healthcare By Destroying Target

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Protesters have torched a police station, looted shops and graffitied public buildings in their calls for justice in Minneapolis - with the sentiment spreading across other cities in America overnight. The Twin Cities Riots continue to escalate five days after an unarmed and handcuffed black man was murdered on camera by Minnesota police officers on May 25th. However, politicians...

“Rioting Is Over The Top” Says Man That Took An AR15 To Town Hall Because He Wanted A Haircut

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Protests have turned into riots throughout middle America overnight, as the citizen response to the Minnesota police murder of George Floyd descends into fires and looting. The pressure cooker of racially-charged police brutality in America appears to have finally boiled over, with thousands of protestors taking to the streets in both Minneapolis and other cities overnight. President Donald Trump...

Report: Sitting Opposite From Elon Musk At A Wedding Would Be The Absolute Pits

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new survey by Betoota's leading wedding magazine 'HITCHED' has found that there aren't many people in the world that would be worse to sit opposite from at a wedding than South-African-Canadian edgepreneur, Elon Musk. Elon Musk just scraped to number one, above the likes of Carol Baskin, Henry Kissinger, Ellen DeGenres and that little shit who bought...

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