World News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In a dramatic development out of the global financial hub of Hong Kong this morning, protestors have stormed the territory's parliament; with a dramatic new agenda. Initially furious at the proposed new extradition laws with China, the protesters have now begun to call for an end to the cattle industry in rural Australia. After whacking away at thick...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some developing news out of the land of the free and the home of the brave, it's believed that the United States are getting closer to deciding upon who they think they might be able to beat in a war. It's being alleged that the slowly fading superpower think they might be able to chalk a win,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The fiery, torturous eternal afterlife known as hell has been awarded a Michelin star at the launch of their new food guide. The new and improved nightlife in Hades is believed to be linked to an influx of gay and lesbian residents - after an Australian rugby union player interpreted the Bible in a certain way. Long-time Hell resident, Satan,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some news out of Europe today, it has been officially confirmed that Rural Victoria's bid to host the 2026 Winter Olympics has failed. In some sad news for the struggling regional economy, the bid to host the pinnacle of winter sports came a close second behind the Milan and Cortina d’Ampezzo proposal. Milan earned 47 votes from...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In breaking news out of the North American continent, it looks like the world will not be graced with a hyper-sensitive album from Canadian rapper Drake. The Toronto Raptors superfan who has been responsible for the crashing and burning of a number of high profile athletes and teams as part of the 'Drake Curse,' finally has something to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Justin Bieber has surprised the world this week with comments that suggest he's not very interested in self preservation. The 25-year-old Canadian-American has publicly revealed how little he knows about the career of Hollywood action star Tom Cruise, known for almost one hundred different movies involving zip lines and martial arts. This comes as Justin Bieber took to Twitter on...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Six-foot-tall Betoota Dolphins prop, Jason Ristrome, today made the bold statement to his mates that he has mastered the ancient art of haggling after spending just two weeks in Thailand. “Yeah, it’s a piece of piss. They reckon tourists have targets on their back, but I figured that haggling shit out in 10 minutes” declared a confident Jason. While this...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Abuja based arm of the Australian Taxation Office (ATO) is today reeling from the news that iTunes will be no more. In what comes as a devastating blow for the ATO officers based in Nigeria's capital, it's looking like plenty of ex-pats and locals may need to look for more work, or look to diversify within the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As cable and free-to-air continue to struggle in Australia, a new study has been conducted to identify just what it is that streaming platforms are offering to make them so popular. The new report, which was carried out by the ACMA, has found that on top of convenience and superior content - services like Stan and Netflix are able...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A naïve Julia Cummins has been confronted with an unsettling reality this morning after realising the 300,000 calories she consumed on holidays actually do count in the real world. Julia had been operating under the assumption of ‘what you eat on holidays, stays on holidays’, but judging by the scales and her reflection, this simply is not the...